3 Rules To Playing The Long Game
Let’s be clear, when it comes to attraction, the long game is not ideal and you should always go for the short game first.
Taking your time and being patient with a girl is mostly seen as old fashioned and something done by unconfident guys who are afraid to escalate things too quickly.
Especially now that we live in the hyper-fast, post-Tinder dating world, taking your time with a girl seems almost obsolete.
Except that it really isn’t. And the fact is long game is still game.
You’ll meet plenty of girls who want to know if you’re really serious, or who want to get to know you first, maybe it’s a friend or co-worker that things are heating up with, or maybe it’s a girl who has some relationship anxiety or is, for whatever reason, at the little wary of the dating world all together.
In the real world, the situation with which you first meet a girl is not always ideal to taking her home that same night. Who knew?
For whatever reason, sometimes you’re just forced to take a little bit longer than the time it takes to swipe right. Here are some rules to keep your head on straight during that process.
Don’t let yourself fall into a slump or let your intentions be known as anything different than what they are.
Essentially, even though you’re taking your time, you want to still be building attraction and sexual tension along with rapport. Don’t be shy about it and don’t take your time.
Keep the iron hot.
Because you’re taking longer, you run a much higher risk of falling into the friend-zone.
Remember, your ultimate goals for long game aren’t any different than the short, so your general behavior doesn’t need to be either. Keep escalating, keep flirting, keep trying to get that date.
Being consistent really is about being confident. It doesn’t matter if it takes a day or a month to get a girl out on a date. You’re still a fun, attractive, ambitious guy, and that shouldn’t be affected by what’s going on around you.
There’s the old saying that good things come to those who wait.
While you don’t want to fade into obscurity, you also don’t want to find yourself panicking or being overbearing.
Yes, waiting is really hard and when we don’t see results right away, we tend to feel desperation.
You need to remember that you made a deal with yourself to persevere, and that’s not really about getting the girl.
It’s about being confident and fulfilled enough in yourself that you won’t panic and act like a desperate jackass because you can’t see past today.
Playing long game is an exercise in self-control and confidence building. You need to prove to yourself that you won’t fall to pieces when you don’t get what you want, right this second.
Your best bet is to follow the rules above and stick to your guns. But sometimes, you just need to know when to walk away.
The last guy you want to be is some pathetic, entitled man-baby, complaining that a girl put him in the friend-zone after all the “work” he put in. She owes you nothing, sometimes the circumstances just weren’t right.
Long game is what it is, and sometimes it’s just not going to work out. Human beings are impulsive, we live in the here and now.
So, don’t put more emotional investment into long game than it deserves. Keep your head cool and mitigate your loses should it come to that.
There’s always the next one, champ.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2014/09/09/how-to-make-her-stop-playing-mind-games/
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.