How To Fill Out Your Dating Profile For Guys (5 Mistakes)
Gentlemen. It’s time for us to audit ourselves and take inventory on something very important to single men-
Our dating profiles.
How are you filling out your dating profile?
Are you avoiding the common mistakes that make girls think you’re uninteresting, creepy, or not douchey?
Based on the feedback I’ve gotten from hundreds of girls over the past few years, you probably aren’t. It seems like every other guy fills their dating profile out pretty much the same way, and single girls are tired of it.
They want something new, authentic, and interesting to read. That’s what they are looking for.
And they will continue to swipe left on you until you catch up.
Here are 5 common mistakes single guys make when filling out their dating profiles. Don’t make them.
Girls like adventurous, ambitious men. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you should paint yourself as an entrepreneurial-Machu-Picchu-gym-rat renaissance man. It tends to come off as inauthentic or
With your 5 pictures and 300-500 characters, your goal should be to capitalize on 1-3 strengths/truths about yourself and make that the most attractive thing about your profile.
You like being outside and active? Use at least 2 pictures showcasing that.
You have 3 college degrees and an impressive resume? Highlight that without overdoing it.
You can only say so much about yourself in your dating profile. Highlight who you really are, because even if she does think your fake profile is great, she’ll ghost you after you show her you’re not all 8 of those things you pretended to be.
Gents, girls don’t care if you have a 6-pack if you come off looking like a giant douche when you’re showing it to them. There are plenty of ways to show off your body to single women online without taking a picture of yourself in the mirror.
I’ve done the research on this one over the years, and the results are consistent:
Nice bodies are canceled out by douchey selfies. Or worse, negated completely.
For every 1 girl that thinks your body is rockin’ and that it’s a fine picture, I’d estimate 7-10 other girls think you’re a tool. Some of them will even think you’re hot, but hate that picture so much that they swipe left instead.
If you don’t believe me, send this copy/paste text to 5 girls in your phone right now:
“Hey, I know this is random, but I’m having a debate with a friend and want your input. What is your opinion of shirtless mirror selfies on dating profiles for guys?”
Seriously, if you don’t believe me, do it.
Instead of the mirror picture, find a picture of yourself outside with your shirt off. That seems to balance out the nice-bod-douchebag metric girls are evaluating you with.
No, iPhone pictures are not “professional”.
You should have at least 2 pictures on your profile that are high quality, HD images of you. What’s happening in the photo doesn’t matter, as long as it’s an attractive and well-taken picture.
This will convey the message to girls that you are thorough, clean-cut, and took time to set up your profile. It may be subconscious, but research proves that HD photos get more swipes.
In this age, pretty much everyone knows someone with a nicer camera than the one on your phone.
Ask a friend to take a few good pictures of you. Heck, even lie to them about why you need them if you aren’t comfortable saying it’s for your dating profile.
In fear of not attracting enough women, you describe yourself, your goals, and your interests in a vague manner.
Both girls and guys hate this. One reason is because even if you do match, it’s almost impossible to come up with a good conversation starter.
For example, compare these scenarios:
What is the likelihood that you’ll respond to a semi-attractive girl (perhaps you matched while drunk) that messages you saying, “Hey, what’s up?”
Now, what is the likelihood that you’ll respond to that same girl if she intentionally picks something out of your profile to riff on or make a joke about. Something like, “What year did you go to Europe? I spent 2 months there last year.”
Your bio and pictures should give her something to talk to you about, and it should be true to who you are and what you’ve accomplished.
Gents, you’ve surely come across a woman’s profile that has made you think, “Okeeey, she’s a little crazy.”
Your dating profile is not a sounding board for your rants or a replacement for therapy.
You might be doing the exact same thing that crazy girl you judged is doing, and not even realize it. Yes, be yourself. But don’t be a lunatic.
Things to avoid talking about in your profile:
Perhaps religion means a lot to you, so I won’t say don’t include your beliefs if that’s important to you. Just know some people will be turned off by that and be okay with that choice if you go in that direction.
A good profile will attract the type of girl you are attracted to. But it shouldn’t detract every other girl, either. It’s better for you to match with someone and find out you aren’t compatible than to scare those people off.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Ben Kissam American coach and sports psych based in Germany. I use psychology tools to make informed decisions about dating and life.