How To Know If You’re Being Ghosted
Poof! Gone! Vanished!
One day everything seems fine, texts are being answered – albeit somewhat briefly – you are getting together – sometimes – and then suddenly, nothing.
No text or social media responses and calls go straight to voicemail. It is easy to sit around and wonder what happened. Where did she go? Was she abducted by aliens? Alas, no. She is still active on social media, and worse yet, you can tell some of your messages are being seen. Eventually you must face facts, you’ve been ghosted.
Ghosting is not a new thing, it just has a name now. If you have ever heard the old “Dad left to get a pack of cigarettes one day and never came back,” that is old-school ghosting. Now, it is the term used when a significant other or dating partner drops all communication and “vanishes”.
Women will offer lots of “valid” reasons for why they ghosted a guy, and to be honest, many are the same reason that guys ghost women. However, no matter the reasons for it happening, the real trick is trying to see it coming. Usually, there will be signs that you are about to be ghosted. If you can spot them, you might have some chance of saving it or at least ending things your way.
One of the great things about today’s technologically based society is communication. It is at our fingertips daily and there are multiple channels to choose from. Being able to communicate is not an issue anymore. Therefore, with a potential ghost, it is the quality of communication that should concern you.
Lack of transparency – women will give you access to their social presence, but not all of it. While she may be active on half a dozen social media sites, she only adds you on one or two. The others she keeps to herself and you only know they exist because you checked her out and your “friend request” remains unconnected. This is obviously to keep you at a distance, which can lead to ghosting.
Lack of consistent communication – early on she was right on the money with replies, but it has tapered off. Many of her texts are short, possibly one word answers no matter the length of your text. Sometimes there is no response for hours. And, if it seems that you are the only one initiating conversations now, these are signs that something is up.
Hard to pin down – after a date or two, it becomes more difficult to get a date set up. She is often busy with other plans or doesn’t “feel” well. Furthermore, when you do go out, she is non-committal and talks little about what is happening in her life. If it is becoming hard to make plans with her, you may be in for a ghosting.
Often, you can see the potential for ghosting if you pay attention to what women say or do. While it is easy for men to get caught up in the moment, get yourself out of that “new crush” mindset and look at who she is. There are signs that will let you know if she has ghost potential.
Narcissistic characteristics – a narcissistic woman puts herself first in relationships. Being with a partner is only worthwhile if she gets something out of it. Men, like other objects, are a disposable resource that serves her purposes. When men no longer do or become boring, they are dropped like a bad habit. And, the narcissist can’t be bothered with the time to say anything, as it serves no purpose. If your object of desire always seems to make conversations about her and ignores most things about you, this is a red flag.
Avoids conversations about the future – the vast majority of women are constantly looking to the future, especially when dating. Most women have dreams of being successful, having a great husband and maybe having kids. A potential ghost does not delve into these conversations. When you nonchalantly bring up kids, they avoid or derail the conversation, if they don’t ignore it completely. When it comes to what the future holds, a ghost doesn’t like to discuss it.
A sketchy dating history – if you are lucky, you might get the biggest clue from talking about her previous relationships; she may have ghosted someone else. Some women don’t see it as a big deal, after the fact, and will make some excuse for why she did it. If she is telling you this, you are a potential target for the next ghosting. Conversely, some ghosters don’t talk about their past relationships at all. This is a bad sign in any relationship, but the lack of investment can point to ghosting.
It’s all about the sex – if your dating cycle has turned into just booty calls, an unspoken FWB situation, you could be ghosted soon. Women love sex just like men. However, if the relationship has boiled down to only the sexual aspect, she is on her way out, and ghosting is a strong possibility.
Early obsession turns distant – it is awesome when a woman is almost obsessive in her attraction to you. She can’t seem to get enough of you early on. But, if this “obsession” fades quickly after a meeting or a couple of dates, you could a victim of ghosting.
While on the subject of ghosting, there is another thing these women may do. It is called haunting. Once a man has been ghosted, the woman in question will still hang around “haunting” his social media pages. Often, they will “like” posts or possibly comment on them. Does this mean she is still in to you? Most likely, no. Many just have a need to see how you recover from the ghosting or are just exhibiting narcissistic behaviors. If you are unlucky enough to be ghosted, then haunted, drop her from your friend list and don’t feed into the “chance” she wants you back. It will only lead to another ghosting or heartache.
Ghosting is going to happen. Sadly enough, it is one of those things that will happen because it is becoming “trendy.” Your goal is to be watchful and vigilant when getting to know a woman and dating her. Don’t be afraid to address these indicators if they occur. The upside to confronting things is that you can end the relationship before you are ghosted. Be smart, pay attention and, above all else, don’t ghost her yourself.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.