How Do You Bring Up Sex?
Women LOVE sex.
It feels way better for them than it does for men.
Most women would want to have sex (with the right man) as often as possible.
Sadly, society has conditioned women to be ashamed of promiscuity. Most are engulfed by the belief that a woman’s body is her main source of value – and that giving it away too easily makes her a low-value person.
In doing so, she’ll be deemed a ‘slut’, ‘whore’ or ‘tramp’ by other women (or jealous ex-boyfriends) who find out.
This is why you can’t explicitly ask a woman you’ve just met if she wants sex. Even if she wants to, she’s conditioned not to make it that easy for anyone outside of a relationship.
Do her a favour and initiate sex more subtly.
Most women have had at least one-night stand, although not all will admit it.
For them, it’s equivalent to eating an entire tub of ice-cream – as in they probably shouldn’t go that fast, but it’ll feel so good if they do.
Still, let’s say you’re on a diet and a waitress offers you the opportunity to eat an entire tub of ice-cream. You’d probably decline, even though it would taste so awesome. If your friends and family were there, they’d certainly do their best to talk you out of it, or be pretty disgusted if you went ahead with it. These ramifications are exactly what a woman faces when you ask if she’s DTF.
Now, let’s say the waitress offered you one scoop every few minutes. She then asks to show you a cool part of the restaurant, away from the prying eyes of your peers, where she offers you another scoop or two. She’s assertive, yet not forceful. She’s persistence, yet not too bothered if you take a bite. There’s no explicit mention of finishing the tub, even though that’s what both of you want. Once the tub is empty, you can rationalize that ‘it just happened’…
‘The ‘one spoon every few minutes’ analogy is how your dates should look. (For the slow-minded among you, the ice-cream scoops are metaphorical for sexual advances.)
First, ask her out, then:
This is NOT sneaky or manipulative. Anyone who thinks otherwise must assume women are extremely dumb!
Women are not dumb! They’re socially savvier than most men. They fully appreciate that men shouldn’t explicitly ask for sex – and will APPRECIATE when the right guy initiates it in a subtle way.
If you’re not the right guy, she will say NO, because she knows exactly what’s going on.
If you don’t babystep your way to the bedroom, instead choosing the ‘wanna bang?’ route or (even worse) waiting until she initiates sex, you’re essentially telling her to act like a slut.
She’s NOT going to appreciate that , and in most cases she won’t sleep with you ever.
Here’s the thing: you do have to be offering her an occasional ‘ice-cream scoop’ throughout the date. (Quote marks added again for those who still don’t understand the metaphor)
Offer too few scoops and you’re on your way straight to the friend zone. Offer too many and she may refuse, but you don’t have to panic or apologize. Laugh it off, continue having a great time and try again later.
The worst thing you can be is the guy who makes girls reach for all the ice-cream scoops herself.
For reasons made clear int his article, she won’t bite.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>