Dating For Minority Men Part 2:
Here’s the second part of Kurgen’s article on dating for minority men.
If You Were Born In A Non-Western Culture
One of the most helpful things to have mastery of is the English language. Now, if you are from another country and English is your second language, you need to work on getting rid of that thick accent.
Now it depends here.
If you are French, Italian, or Spanish, you’re golden. But if you have an Asian accent or an Indian one, and it’s thick, you need to really work on that and become more fluent. Now, I am only saying this if you want white women.
Two Case Studies
I knew this PUA in the Bay Area and he has terrible game. He’s been in the community from the beginning. He was from India, but was educated here in America. He was really into the Mystery Method, and used it a lot, but his game had so much problems.
He came off as like a slimy salesman. Girls weren’t into him at all as he cycled through his routines. But, when his guard was down and we were talking, he told my then 23 year old girlfriend a cool story about his life in India growing up and stuff about the cast system there.
Geeze, if he would have told that story when he was in set, he would have gotten a ton of women because he would have grounded his identity as an Indian man living in SF.
That’s what you have to do to break stereo-types because to an American women, it humanizes you rather than an identity based on a stereotype.
By contrast, I know this Master PUA that was living in Seattle at the time, about 4 years ago, and he was by far one of the coolest human beings I have ever meet. He was a immigrant from India as well.
But what a difference in game. He was getting white women left and right. I saw him in field on three different visits and he had awesome game, but more importantly he talked about his culture and made it cool.
He didn’t make apologies about his culture and he made it part of his identity. Amazing.
The “Ethnic Creep”
OK. I am an anthropologist, so I know what I am talking about here. There are guys from certain cultures that come off as creepy. I know that this is not politically correct, but do you want to get laid by a hot white American girl?
A lot of guys come off creepy and it’s not necessarily because they are. Although a lot of guys are actually. A lot of cultures in the world look at women in a bad way; that is that they are totally subordinate to men. This is bad, bad, bad.
Women do not want to be thralls here. They want playfulness, romance, fun, and adventure. Later: stability and a strong man to guide them and protect them and to be a good father for their off-springs.
If you come off as an arrogant asshole because that’s what your country tells you that women should be treated, you will have your right hand as your mating partner here in America . . . or a woman that is so fucked up she will put up with your arrogant ass but be a total psycho.
Whatever, you can’t look at women that way. You have to have an “American” world view about dating and relationship, because that’s what a hot 23 year old white woman will be expecting from ANY male she is even interested in.
I have met a lot of minority guys who have bought into the hype that seduction and pick up will give them a 9 or 10 if they just use “the method” and they still retain that misogynistic attitude.
When in Rome, do as the Romans.
If you don’t, your body language, they way you talk and say things will have those cultural attitudes in the way you interact with women.
What Are Women Attracted To In A Minority Man
As I stated in that last section: it is your humanity that women will be attracted to, but it should be your best self. In general, have the ability to tell stories about yourself and to be honest about it and not to be ashamed of you ethnic background. That will separate you from the rest of the guys out there in general.
Now, I am assuming that you have the skills to have decent and not creepy conversations with a woman and have good things to say about things in general and of course about you and your life.
If you can in a cool way convey your “best self” to her and pepper in stories about your culture or cultural background and experience, you will be in good shape.
Now here is a key that I have been trying to tell guys in general about what women are attracted to in men versus what men are attracted to in women: they are different.
Men are attracted to looks first, personality second.
For women, it’s the other way around: they are attracted to personality and looks second.
Now, I am not saying that women are not paying attention to looks: if you have a bad smell, dirty finger nails, bad hygiene over all, and are a fashion mess, yeah . . . she will get creeped out. But, hopefully you have those things under control.
If you have that taken care of and at the best optimal potential of what nature gave you then, yes, it’s all about your personality.
I would say that if you have the basics down and you are not creepy, and your personality shines, you will have your best chances to get that “white” girl.
Now, I know this as a fact because I can get results, and that is what I have discovered.
The bottom line is that after you get attraction, you need to ground yourself. You can do this easily with the stuff Sinn talks about in this blog and even better in his Seduction Road Map. Just make sure you add a couple of stories about your culture and experience.
Fashion for the Minority Guy
The way you present yourself to the world and especially to women is really important. A ton of stuff has been written about this by Sinn, Mystery et al. So, I am not going to get into that here, but there is some things I want to address.
You have to looked “whitewashed” in the way that you dress and just your fashion sense in general. What I mean here is that you have to look as American as much as possible or you will be dead in the water super fast.
If you are relatively new here, you can have a good chance if you really focus on the language and to try to dress as “American” as possible. I mean, it may seem superficial, but that’s how the game is played.
If you immigrated here, as long as you put an effort in these domains, you should do a lot better.
About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.