Indirect Vs Direct Daygame
There’s always been a debate over indirect vs direct daygame. Which is better?
Do you prefer blondes, or brunettes? Big bouncing boobies, and a small butt—or a big butt and perky handfuls? (Big everything Tony!)
They both have their strengths and weaknesses.
First let’s define the two methods.
Direct is when you approach a girl and clearly state your intentions:
“Hi, I just saw you, thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. I’m Tony.”
This achieves two objectives: It tells her why you approached her (she’s physically attractive) and what you want (to meet her).
The direct approach is powerful because it doesn’t waste any time, and it’s a bold move. Bold moves can spark attraction because bravery, boldness, and confidence are attractive male qualities. In a sense, all game really is, is displaying high levels of social and sexual confidence. So the direct approach achieves this.
The direct approach can also cause a “knee-jerk” reaction, or an auto-pilot reply like:
“Sorry I have a boyfriend,” or, “Sorry I’m busy.”
These auto-pilot responses are almost pre-programmed. Sure you could blame your local political climate, #metoo brainwashing. But more likely you just don’t look like the sort of archetype (a beautiful man) that she desires.
In that sense, the direct approach is a lot like Tinder in real life, where you present your product in a shallow manner, and toss the ball into her court. With direct game, it’s up to her to make a split second decision whether she wants to carry on the interaction or not.
You just might not be tall enough for her, or she only dates Albino Chinese men under 5’4”. Because of these auto-pilot responses, she knee-jerks a rejection to your approach before you even get to display your other attractive qualities, like wit, humor, and charisma.
That and a lot of attractive women do have boyfriends, or are actually in a hurry.
Direct game is great if you’re in a hurry, or want to make a bold move. But you’ll have to deal with auto-pilot rejections, a lot.
Indirect is powerful in that it allows you to present your personality, create connection, and screen out girls who’s personality doesn’t mesh with yours, before stating your intent. It’s a “safe” method of approaching, or more “under the radar.”
You spot a pretty girl looking at travel brochures for Thailand. You approach her, grab a brochure and say “I’d love to go back to Thailand. Their food is so good and I’m tired of this cold weather. Have you been before?”
This tells her a lot about you. That you’re confident enough to strike up a conversation with a stranger (boldness), that you enjoy and have experience with travel (similar interest, adventurousness) and leaves the ball in her court (“Have you been there before?”)
Most men fail at mastering indirect daygame because they “don’t know what to say” following an opener. That, or their opener just plain sucks, or they can’t transition from talking about soap to building rapport. They don’t know how to make a friendly conversation about the book on the shelf, seductive.
The benefit of indirect game is that you can gauge her personality before you show interest.
Many times I’ve approached a beautiful girl with a direct compliment, only to realize I don’t like her personality, or she has bad breath, or she’s anti-social, or crazy.
Indirect allows you to quickly feel out her personality and over all attractiveness before complimenting her.
After a direct opener, most guys fly into a barrage of boring, value taking question like: “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Where are you going?”
Logistical information is useful, but not as important as displaying personality. I prefer to talk about myself; what I’m doing that day, what my thoughts are on anything in the environment, or cold-reads about her personality that display my wit, creativity, humor, and empathy.
Most guys attempt this, but end up making a long list of surface level observations:
“I like your coat.”
“You walk fast.”
“It’s a nice day out.”
These are surface level observations, when you should be making insightful observations that either display your personality, or reveal hers.
Insights, Not Observations
“I noticed your coat is red. Is that your favourite color?”
“You walk fast. Are you generally a high energy person?
“I like Sunny days, because without vitamin D we die a little inside.”
Insightful observations hook far better than surface level questions.
Rather than spending ten minutes talking about soap, you should reveal her personality, or display your yours. Most guys get stuck in Nice guy land” because they fear “blowing it” by showing too much interest.
If the girl doesn’t get that you’re picking her up, you can always switch to direct, and just say it.
“I didn’t care about the soap, I just wanted to meet you.”
Or drop a compliment into the exchange.
“I just noticed you have really pretty eyes.
Of course, you should understand concepts like push-pull, teasing, and not just shower her with compliments. But she needs to know you’re not just there to talk about Internet marketing techniques, and you would be down to bump hips if she is.
Touch is what separates pros from amateurs. The amateur will spend ten minutes chatting up a girl without touching her once, and wonder why she doesn’t text him back. The pro knows that touch creates sexual tension, comfort, and rapport.
You can check out her jewellery, high five her, walk arm in arm, touch knees while you have coffee. You could be talking about something boring like what shoes she’s shopping for, while at the same time running your finger along her tattoo, or brushing an eye lash off her cheek. Often, how you touch says more to her about your sexual nature than your words.
In the end, openers are just first impressions. Whether you’re asking for directions to a good cafe, or telling her sexy walk compelled you to approach her, it’s how you present yourself that matters. The fundamentals are key:
• Speak in a masculine, even tone, without uptalk
• Stand up straight
• Look her in the eyes
• Stand close to her, not five feet away
• Have emotional stability, and not be overly nervous
• Dress fashionably, and be well groomed
Always Be Closing
Whether you go direct, or indirect, it’s just an opener. What really matters is that you close. Ask for her number, or take her on a date right there.
“Let’s chat later. What’s your number?”
“What are you up to now? I know a great cafe. I’ll buy you a coffee.”
You’re not a psychic and you miss 100% percent of the shots you don’t take. So close. Just close.
Which method is best? Direct or Indirect?
There’s no best way to open in daygame. All that really matters is that you try. My advice, do both, find out what works for you, and keep doing it.
About Tony Depp With over a decade of experience, Tony Depp is a veteran dating coach and pickup instructor. He's taught live bootcamps in six countries, and over a dozen cities worldwide. Tony has published two books on seduction, and has written over a million words on his dating advice blog, wwww.absoluteability.com.