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On Promiscuity Part 1: Boosting Self Esteem Through Sex

One of the things I’ve realized over the almost a decade I’ve been involved with teaching men how to meet, attract and seduce women is that everyone has their own reasons for why they want to sleep with a lot of girls.

However having said that, most guys (in the Secret Underground Seduction Community) who want to sleep with a lot of girls are doing it for 1 of 3 reasons:

1. To boost their self esteem. I’ll be discussing this today.
2. To fill a hole inside of them (Wed)
3. To get back at women for something that happened to them earlier in life (Fri)

At one point or another I have had all of these motivations, which is what struck me and made me want to write about this. It’s not as simple as saying “Oh well it’s evolution and guys are designed to spread their seed.”

First off, there is a reason that evolutionary biology is not taught at any major college (Seriously go look it up).

Second of all, we’re all fucked up here. It cracks me up when these “seduction gurus” try to pretend that their just normal guys with no problems whatsoever they just happen to have one of the most fucked up weird jobs in a community of fucked up weird people but they aren’t the issue.


Anyway by far the most common reasons why a guy wants to “rack up numbers” is because they are trying to boost their self esteem. Women become an external barometer for how good you should/do feel about yourself.

Here’s a fun game: Next time you see a pickup guy tell him you don’t think he’s good with girls and see what happens. Chances are he’ll start qualifying himself and talking about why he’s good and how he’s got hidden camera footage and etc…

They freak out because their self esteem is attached to being good with women if they’re not good with women (and other people don’t acknowledge it as their identity) they have NO idea how to define themselves.

This is one of the reasons I tell guys not to identify with being a “Pick up artist” because a pua is defined only through pick-up. Which basically means your entire sense of self worth is going to be at the mercy of a bunch of girls in da club.


Not just lame but dangerous. There’s a reason I tried to kill myself in my really dark PUA days it was because the only way I knew how to feel better about myself was to receive external validation from people. It’s the reason some gurus have kids and still go to the club 7 nights a week.

They’re trying to feel better about themselves and escape their bad thoughts about how much of a loser they really are.

The thinking goes like this: If this girl was willing to let me fuck her, I MUST be cool. It’s proof that I’m ok and that other people don’t think I’m a loser.

The problem with this is that like any drug, the more you use the harder it is to get high. The more you validate yourself the less it starts to help. And all of a sudden if you’re not sticking your dick into new pussy every single day, you start to feel like a loser anyway…

Self esteem cannot be built through interactions with other people. It can only be built through real accomplishment. It’s by losing weight or getting a better job or basically being less of a loser that you’re going to feel better about yourself.

Trust me I have the scars to prove it.

If you’ve ever thought you’d feel better about yourself if you slept with 10-20 or even 100 new girls this year, you are living in the clutches of boosting self esteem through sex and you need to step back and take a good long hard look at yourself. Because the dirty little secret about boosting your self esteem through sex is that it doesn’t work.

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About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.

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