How To Go Out Alone
It’s Friday night. You want to hit the local clubs and meet women, but have no-one to go with.
The thought of rolling solo scares you. Perhaps you’re worried about coming across as a creepy, predatory loner. Maybe you think it’s impossible to have fun without a mate standing next to you.
Whatever your fears are, they’re almost definitely an illusion. Going out alone is as cool as you decide it is.
I’ve travelled the world solo for over a year. Solo nights out have become second nature and they’re usually a blast.
This guide explains how to erase your fears of solo nights out, enjoy yourself, make friends and take a beautiful woman home.
If you spend the entire day working hard without talking to people, it’s likely you’ll arrive on your solo night out feeling stifled and anti-social.
That’s why socialising and logical working involve different parts of the brain. It’s difficult to shift between the two.
The antidote is to make smalltalk with anyone who crosses your path. If you’re not lucky enough to have a social workplace, consider running daygame during your lunch break. Make an effort to chat with the cashiers, waiting staff or Uber drivers who serve you throughout the day. Call a friend on the phone. Anything that keeps the social side of your brain active will help you in the bar that evening.
This is especially important when you’re on your way to a bar or a club. Make a point to speak with people on the way to the venue and in the queue. Befriend the bouncer, the cloakroom workers and the bar staff. It’ll do a lot to get you out of your shell.
Most big cities host a ton of social events designed especially for those “looking to meet new people”. Language exchanges, dance classes, speed dating, singles nights. You’re unlikely to meet many hotties there, but they’re a good warm-up if you’ve never been out alone before.
These events tend to start and finish relatively early in the evening, so you could drop by before hitting the bars. Any women you do meet are likely to be more responsive than the bottle rats at the club. If nothing else, they’ll help shift you into a social mood.
Check out Facebook Events or MeetUp.com for a list of events in your local area.
Some nightclubs have a policy against solo guys being allowed in the club. However, there are plenty of ways to be made an exception.
Getting there early. When the club is empty, the door staff tend to be more lenient.
Befriending the bouncers. The first time they let you in the venue, have a small chat and offer to buy them a soft drink. They’ll remember this gesture the next time you roll up to the club on your own.
Dress well. If you dress like an important guy who’s ready to spend a lot of money, you’ll be more likely to get in. It’ll also improve women’s perception of you.
If you’re not interested in doing any of this, there are probably plenty of dive bars or tourist hangouts that will still let you in. Don’t expect to meet as many beautiful women here though.
Once you’re inside, start talking to people as soon as possible. The longer you wait to start socialising, the harder you’ll find it.
This is the secret that makes it so easy to feel comfortable on a solo night out.
Find a “home base” – a group of people who like you and accept you. It doesn’t have to be anyone remotely cool. The only criteria is that they don’t mind you hanging out with them.
Just be friendly and nice. No flirting. No edgy opinions that’ll piss them off. Provided you have a decent base level of charisma, they’ll probably be pleased that a cool guy tried to befriend them. Don’t be surprised if they buy you drinks or make an concerted effort to get to know you. Now, you have a group of people to hang out with…
You don’t need to stay with your home base, but they’re always there if you’re feeling self-conscious about being alone.
From here, you can run game like it’s any other night.
The easiest trap to fall into on solo nights out is becoming too desperate to be accepted by other groups. Trying to leech off other people’s fun is the best way to turn them off. Instead, focus on self-amusement and making other people’s nights better with your presence. Do this well and you’ll be welcomed by the majority of the people you speak to.
There are few obstacles that make pulling harder when you’re out alone.
The “don’t you have any friends” shit test is easy enough to navigate. Just as with any shit test, you can just agree and own it. If you really must, gesture in the direction of your “home base” and say you’re out with them.
The toughest problem might be isolating women from their overprotective friends. You may have entertain the whole group, before you’re granted time alone with your target. If she’s only out with one friend, you may neverget this alone time and have to settle for exchanging contact details. However, when you’ve mastered the skills listed above, this is the ONLY disadvantage to rolling solo.
It’s still possible to pull a one-night stand if you’re out on your own. It’s often better focusing on the girls in larger groups, as these are typically more open to straying from the pack. Occasionally, you may even find a beautiful woman who’s also rolling solo. That’s the gods of karma rewarding you for going out alone 😉 .
Some of my most epic nights out have happened while rolling solo. You don’t waste time chatting shit with your buddies. You don’t worry about embarrassing yourself in front of them. Instead, you focus solely on meeting new people.
With these tips in your arsenal, it’ll definitely be more fun than staying at home.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>