The 3 Ways To Get Respect As A Man
Getting respect as a man comes from being able to consistently do things that are difficult and admirable. This is could be approaching women, this could be asserting yourself, or it could be taking care of your life.
But here’s the caveat:
Whilst these things get you respect from other people, they aren’t things you do in order to get that respect. At least, not from them. You do it for yourself.
The more you gain your own respect, the more you naturally act in a way that gains the respect of other people. It starts with you.
In my experience, there are three key ways to do this.
If you’re lazy, disorganized, constantly put things off, and don’t have a handle on your health or finances – then you probably don’t respect yourself and it isn’t likely anyone else will either. So if you’re looking for a place to start, it’s here.
You need to develop discipline and structure in your life. This doesn’t mean you have to be some 24-hour workhorse with perfectly ironed shirts, no debt, and a rock solid schedule. It just means you have a basic structure to your life that takes care of the basic things you need to take care of.
First off, this means you have to work relatively hard. Not 100 hours a week. Not even 60. But you can’t be lazy. You have to put some effort into your work (whatever it is), and you have to challenge yourself and find the motivation to do that. For everyone, it’s going to be different, but if you want to respect yourself as a man, you have to figure this one out.
Next, you have to have your life in order. This starts with something as simple as tidying your room but goes all the way to having your own place and having a job you enjoy.
Build a life you respect. One you enjoy and one that takes care of your basic needs. Are you socializing? Are you taking care of your appearance? Are you financially stable? You need to be answering these kinds of questions with “yes.” Because why wouldn’t you?
Lastly, you need to get things done. Stop letting things pile up, stop putting them off, and just get them done. You know what they are. Write them down and start ticking them off.
Get all that sorted and you’ll respect yourself more than you ever have.
Confidence in a man can be broken down into three different types. Confidence with his goals, confidence with confrontation, and confidence with women. None of these are easy to develop but all of them can be developed.
Confidence with your goals is built by slowly confronting your fear of failure, challenging your limiting beliefs, and taking consistent action (no matter how small) in the direction of what it is you want to achieve.
This could mean that you write every day, start hitting the gym or start a business. Whatever it is you want but aren’t certain you could achieve or don’t believe you could achieve – that is what you move towards.
When you can do this you take a level of possession over your life that most men don’t achieve. You’ll be actively pursuing things that make you afraid, feel self-doubt, and turn most people away. Not only will this make you respect yourself more, but other people will admire this as well.
Developing confidence with confrontation is one of the most important things you can learn. When you fear confrontation you never fully express your identity. You don’t assert your boundaries, values, or opinions. And as a result, people walk all over you, or simply struggle to know who you are.
If you want to learn how to get respect as a man, this is the fastest way to do this. Confront your fear of confrontation, assert your boundaries, values, and opinions, and people will immediately begin to treat you with more respect.
Lastly, there’s confidence with women. This one doesn’t need a lot of explanation. The more you’re capable of interacting with women, expressing your interest, and not remaining trapped in your head, the more you’ll respect yourself regardless of whether you end up succeeding or getting rejected.
In fact, confronting the basic nervousness most guys have around women is one of the simplest ways to give yourself a boost in self-respect. Because you’re reminding yourself, at the end of the day, you can still push yourself to go after what you want. No matter how anxious or crappy you might feel.
This is something guys always struggle to do. Most guys go through life never mustering the courage to approach or even express themselves directly with women. They’re afraid, and they won’t take the risk in order to build that confidence.
Be better than that.
The last, but most important thing you need to do is practice self-acceptance.
Sure, I’ve given you a lot of things to work on in your life, but at the end of the day, this isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about taking care of your life and doing the things you genuinely want to do. That is after all what discipline and confidence have you doing.
So if you’re beating yourself up all the time, that’s actually the wrong way to go about it. If you want to respect yourself, and by proxy, have others respect you, then you have to accept yourself.
Accepting yourself means you’re okay with who you are. Whether your life is 100% where you want it to be or not, you know you’re okay. You don’t need validation from some material success and you don’t need validation from other people.
And, despite you reading this article for reasons to the contrary, you don’t care whether other people respect you because at the end go the day, you respect yourself.
Sure, you’ll assert your boundaries if you have to – there’s that confrontation again – but ultimately you’re okay with who you are. Regardless of how you’re treated.
A lot of guys skip this step, but it’s actually the most important. Because another way of looking at respect is that you’re just a good friend to yourself. You look after yourself and don’t treat yourself like crap.
So don’t make that same mistake, and start challenging the ways in which you beat yourself up, seek validation, and interact with who you are.
About John Matich John is a writer from the UK who splits his time between travelling the world and trying to find unconventional solutions to dating and personal development. You can find more from him at www.lifeuncivilized.com.