The Right Mindset
People often talk ask me what my mindset is about meeting girls, dating, pick up etc…
So I figured I should write a post about what I believe to be the perfect mindset for getting better at pickup.
Ready for it?
You have to not care, but still do the approaches.
And this is where the difficulty comes in.
Most guys who are reading this care too much. They think that getting a girlfriend or being able to get laid regularly is magically going to fix their lives and make them happy.
Or they believe the marketing hype that they can get amazing results with women quickly with no time effort or energy and they care about getting the results they were promised.
Or they get competitive or make getting women some sort of measurement of how successful of a guy they are and they have to be better then this guy or get X amount of girls into bed a month.
The point is they (you and me) care about this shit too much.
If you took the average guy off the street and asked him on a 1-100 scale how much he cares about getting laid more than he is right now, the majority of them would say 51% they would prefer to get laid more than they are versus the alternative, but they aren’t willing to put the time effort and energy into it.
If you took the average guy who is involved in this stuff they would say 85-90%. Or in other words getting more girls or getting laid is THE most important thing in their lives.
This is a mindset that is going to fail you both in the short term and the long term. In the short term Pickup is hard in the beginning and if it’s the most important thing in your life, you’re going to be failing at what you consider the most important thing in the world which will make you feel bad.
In the long term it makes you either hugely bitter (If you never get success) or feel like your entire life and whole sense of self worth is directly related to whether or not a stranger likes you…
Hopefully the past few paragraphs have illustrated why you shouldn’t care so much about this stuff. Take it for what it is one of MANY different ways to meet women. There is no prize for being great at cold approach, nor does anyone other than YOU care about your sex life.
But if you stop caring completely then why even approach? Why not just continue to sit on the couch and waste away?
So how do you reconcile these two ideas into the right mindset?
You care about trying.
You only need to care that you are actually making an effort. If you’re making an effort and the results aren’t coming, you can feel good knowing you did your best.
You don’t have to be perfect with women or some sort of “master pick up artist” all you have to do is care about trying, do the approaches and not worry about the rest.
About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.