Empathy and Pickup
One of the biggest issues holding men back from meeting, attracting and dating the women they want, is the idea of empathy.
Forget the dictionary definition of empathy, as we’re going to be talking about empathy specifically as it relates to pick-up.
For the sake of this article, we’ll define empathy as the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes in order to relate to the experience they are currently having.
In the beginning guys try to empathize by looking for what used to be called ” Indicators of interest” or IOIs. Guys think that if they can see a few (What they consider) to be sure-fire signs then they’ll know that the girl is attracted to them.
This however discounts any alternative theory for explaining the girl flipping her hair, or crossing her legs towards you.
In the beginning attempting to be empathetic when meeting women is like shooting yourself in the foot with a bazooka. Twice.
Until you are consistently getting movement and phone numbers, you DON’T want to spend too much time trying to figure out what a woman is thinking or feeling. In general this will only mess a beginner up as there are soooo many things you need to be focused on that are infinitely more important than what the girl is currently thinking/feeling.
In the beginning (I.E.90% of you guys reading this), YOU’RE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH WITH WOMEN TO WORRY ABOUT EMPATHIZING.
Once you’re consistently getting movement and phone numbers, then learning to empathize and read where a woman’s at emotionally is the single best thing you can do to work on your game.
Past a certain point you want to adopt my mantra which is ” The only thing that actually gets you the girl, is how you make her feel.”
Learning to empathize, starts by asking yourself a question like ” What is she feeling, right now?”
You must make it a priority in the intermediate stage to learn to put yourself in the woman’s shoes.
One of the most amusing things about pick up to me, is this; we as the guy approaching spend so much time, effort, and energy thinking about the approach, practicing tactics and techniques and analyzing these interactions that to a woman are LITERALLY just some time a guy walked up to her and started talking.
To most women approaches seem RANDOM. Especially in the beginning. Then you have all sorts of other misunderstandings that occur when you believe one thing is going on and the woman thinks it’s the other.
Either way if you want to improve you have to know what levels of empathy you need to be using.
In the beginning it’s best not to be empathetic at all and to focus instead on the process. But once you start getting some success, it’s time to turn on the empathy to see if you can figure out what’s really going on with your approaches.
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About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.