How to Impress Women
I recieved this newsletter from David DeAngelo and I thougtht it was quite true. A huge mistake I used to make was feeling like I always had to have something cool to say to a women. This made me insecure, becuase I rarely felt I could think of anything to say.
I would look around and notice that some guys would just say whatever they felt like without regard to what the woman was thinking. These guys were the ones getting laid. Me I was still sitting there waiting for the perfect line to impress them.
He also talks about when a girl asks what you do for a living. This also used to be a huge mistake of mine. The fact is they don’t care, and you don’t care what they do. Neither one of you want to hear about the other’s job. The best way to avoid this boring conversation is to deflect it with a joke. David gives an example in the letter below. Look it over and let me know what you think about it.Â I highly recommend David’s famous book Double Your Dating.
HOW TO IMPRESS ANY WOMAN
I’ve learned a secret to impressing women that I’m going to share with you in this newsletter.
It’s a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own.
The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it’s TOO OBVIOUS.
Let me explain…
I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women.
If you watch the way a man behaves when he’s talking to a woman he’s just met or a woman that he’s on a first date with, you can SEE IT.
Maybe you’ve been there yourself.
I know I have. Many, many times, in fact.
The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling: DON’T SCREW THIS UP.
Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to “impress” the woman that he’s
1) He tries to only say “cool” things, or things that will “impress” the woman.
2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation… sometimes coming across as “formal”.
3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.
4) If he says something that the woman doesn’t like, he “back-pedals” and tries to change what
he said to suit the woman.
5) He doesn’t say anything “risky”, doesn’t tease the woman, and doesn’t do anything to upset her.
…in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he “likes”, he’s usually on his “best behavior”, and he’s trying to “put his best foot forward”.
To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVE TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY “LIKE”.
And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL.
There’s your first hint, in fact…
Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will figure out on their own?
Well, here it is:
If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women, and do the things I’m teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be “impressed” by you.
TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN’T IMPRESS HER.
So let’s break this down…
WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD
What’s wrong with trying to “impress” women, anyway?
To start with, EVERYTHING.
When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a “subtle” level:
1) I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.
2) I’m not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.
3) I don’t have a lot of experience with attractive women.
4) I’m insecure.
5) I don’t know how to make women feel comfortable with me.
But it’s the truth.
Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you’re “trying”.
The conversation doesn’t feel “normal”, your body language is strange, and you can’t seem to
have a regular conversation.
Now of course, I’ve just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they’re first talking to a woman that they “like”.
Are you ready for a profound insight?
MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOST OF THE TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT’S OLD NEWS. IT’S BORING. IT’S PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESS AT ALL.
The bottom line is that trying to impress awoman usually has the OPPOSITE effect.
It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can’t make normal conversation… it also bores the hell out of women.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
OK, so you’re out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before…
She asks you what you do for a living.
Should you answer with:
1) “Well, I’m an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I’ve been with them for three years, and I’m about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER.”
2) “I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That’s my job.”
Well, it all depends on what your outcome is.
If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine.
Unfortunately, it won’t impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool.
If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2.
Most men don’t have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman asks a “serious” question like “What do you do?”.
If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING.
She’ll say “No, really… what do you do?”.
Answer with: “No, really. Haven’t you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I meanhey… someone’s got to do it”.
Now, I can’t possibly go into all the reasons why it’s a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be “impressive”.
There are MANY reasons for this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman… and I mean REALLY impress her.
But these things aren’t OBVIOUS.
The most IMPORTANT thing you can do to IMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you.
This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home.
And it’s the one thing that will make women pursue YOU… and try to impress YOU.
What’s the best way to do this?
1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women. Stop now.
read our review of Double Your Dating
About David DeAngelo David DeAngelo is the author of Double Your Dating, and the creator of programs like Advanced Dating Techniques. He has spent the last 15 years educating men on how to improve their dating life, self confidence, and inner game. You can read 22 of his David DeAngelo's best articles here.