The Three Phase Model

This is something I was emailed by Magnus of the Bristol Lair. I thought that
this is a great article and definately worth posting.


Outline of my three phase model of seduction

The three phases to any pick-up are:

ATTRACT: Make the girl feel attraction towards you
QUALIFY: Communicate that you are attracted to her
CONNECT: Get to know each other

Each phase has a particular aim, and it is usually easy to
know which phase you are in. Doing things in the wrong
phase messes things up. Knowing which phase you are in
tells you what to do next. The phases do not overlap, and
if you find yourself moving back a phase, you’re doing
something wrong.

If you use canned material, you can group your routines
according to which phase they are most effective in. If
you don’t, this at least tells you what sort of spontaneous
stuff to use, particularly in terms of Kino.

The idea is that this is a lot simpler than Mystery Method
to learn, and to spot when you are in each stage. The
stages are more relevant than the ancient ‘FMAC’, and kino
is not a separate stage as in RSD’s 5-step seduction.

The Opener is incidental to the Attract phase, and Closing
is incidental to the Connect phase. I think it’s important
not to make a big deal of Opening or Closing. Talking to
girls and getting their numbers should be an everyday
occurance for you.

Three Phase Seduction applies equally to 5 minute pick-ups,
same day lays, as it does to long term seduction of the hot
babe you see once a week in a certain class.

ATTRACT is essentially running the opener, teasing her,
other DHV stuff and fun physical kino. You’ll develope a
sense for when she is attracted. Sometimes, it can be
before you’ve said ‘hi’. Other times, it can take an hour
of high octane routines, ignoring her, teasing her, putting
her down.

QUALIFY is essentially building commonalities, cold-reads
and proper compliments. You are communicating that there is
chemistry between you, and that she has special qualities
that you look for in a girl. Adopt her, tell her she has
Three Smiles, give her the Trust Test, etc. A venue change,
#-close, etc, would probably happen here.

CONNECT is the longest phase in a successful seduction.
Once you’ve established mutual attraction, it’s just a case
of getting to know each other. Connecting can be split
into FIVE threads! These are the Physical, Emotional,
Logical, Social and Creative threads. For a long-term
girlfriend, you should nurture all of these threads. For a
quick fuck, only the first is essential.

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ATTRACT by Magnus

Make her feel attraction towards you

It has been noted here in the past that this is not enough
to guarantee pulling a girl. The other two phases are
equally important, but she must be attracted to you first.

If a girl finds out that you are attracted to her, before
she is attracted to you, then you are creepy and sleazy.
If, once she is attracted, she realises that you are also
attracted, then you are the perfect guy.

Therefore, during the ATTRACT stage, you should only
communicate a passing interest in her. You are playing
with her for your own amusement, and she is holding your
attention only for the time being.

Attraction is raised by demonstrating the following

Social Prize (Confidence, Leadership, Authority,
Lack of Desperation

(These correspond to four of Style’s attraction switches)

These forums are littered with ways to do all of these.
TD’s 25 Points are essential for Lack of Desperation, and
contribute to Social Prize. Sexuality at this stage is most
easily demonstrated through clothing and intense sexual eye
contact. Most canned openers and routines certainly
demonstrate Uniqueness.

Attraction building stuff is Cocky + Funny, or ‘Teasing’ as
we like to call it on this side of the pond. Negs,
Busting, DHV Routines, and certain mini cold-reads.

The routines that I personally use in this phase, are: Girl
Code/Best Friends, Sincere Compliment, Good Girl Face/Bad
Girl Face, Lying Game, the Bad Girl Test, the Tranny Test.
Almost any good canned opener should raise attraction too.

Kino should be fun and flirty during this stage – anything
dominant and push-pull is great. The handshakes game is
awesome. High-fives, particularly when you whip your hand
away. Tickling and poking. Caveman kino too.

You can even kiss girls, with tongues, at this stage, but
don’t make the mistake of thinking this means you are in a
later phase. If you kiss in the attract phase, it doesn’t
mean she’s going home with you, it doesn’t mean she wants
to see you again.

Most guys have developed a keen sense of when a girl is
attracted to them, but they don’t realise that the other
two phases are important. So when you spot the girl is
attracted, it’s not game over, it’s time to move on to the
next phase.

It’s easier to spot when you’re going too far. At some
point, maybe you’ll see in her eyes that she’s wondering
why this so-cool guy is even talking to her, or your C+F
busting is starting to hurt. That’s when you know you are
overdue to go on to the next stage.

Next: Communicate that you are attracted to her…

Let her know you like her… in very specific ways

Once the girl is attracted to you, it’s vital to let her
know that you are also attracted to her, for reasons other
than that she has tits and ass. This can be a very short
phase, but it is essential for eliminating LMR. If you
have established that a girl likes you, if you don’t make
it clear that you like her, then she’ll just think you’re
using her. If it’s clear that the feeling is mutual, then
it’s only natural that you’ll get to know each other.

The term ‘Qualify’ seems to be used in three ways in the
community: Qualifying yourself, to HBs or AMOGs, is always
bad. Getting the girl to qualify HERSELF, is awesome in the
attract phase. Qualifying the girl, to let her know you are
interested, is what this phase is all about.

Again, here are three of Style’s attraction switches that
you need to flip in this phase:
1) She has special qualities that you look for in a girl
2) We have things in common
3) We have chemistry (we communicate)

Proper Compliments are the easiest way to communicate that
you like a girl. Whereas an AFC would gush with compliments
– “You’re so cool” “I like your hat” “I bet you’re really
really good at it”, there is one awesome way to structure
compliments such that they cement attraction.

“You are X, I like that in a girl”
“You have X, I find that very attractive”

Note that the more unique and perceptive X is, the more
this will hit home. One that I use a lot is “your X matches
the colour of your Y… you obviously think a lot about
your appearance, I like that in a girl”.

I almost always adopt the girl as my little sister to
transition into this phase. This makes it absolutely clear
that you like her, while totally destroying her sexual
. By qualifying her further, you allow her the
opportunity to re-assert it.

After more fluff I’ll roll into my Three Smiles routine,
which really fills a girl with warm fuzzies, when it comes
from a guy she is attracted to. When she smiles about
something, I’ll say “you know… you have Three Smiles…”
(she’ll smile) “… and that’s a fourth”. Then describe a
couple, and leave the others as open loops. “Yeah, there’s
one kind of fake-ass ‘who are these strange guys talking to
me’ kind of smile… it doesn’t fool anyone, sweetheart.
But then there’s this genuine, sunshiney smile when your
whole face lights up…” Any sort of cold read on her
smiles is great here.

The Trust Test, Tension Test fit in here. You can also
strawberry fields if you use it to qualify, and I tend to
use cube to transition into the next phase.

The QUALIFY phase can be a very short phase! “You’re cool,
you should come to the next bar with us”.

Kino becomes calmer and more affectionate in this phase.
Back-touches, hugs, hair touching and cheek kisses.
Massage, also.

At some point, probably the conversation will naturally
move on to CONNECTing. If the ATTRACT phase goes on too
long, you can backpeddle with a strong QUALIFY phase.
However, if the QUALIFY phase over-qualifies her, you’ll
need to return to the ATTRACT phase, which is bad. If the
ATTRACT phase raises your value and lowers hers, then the
QUALIFY phase should bring hers up to where it is still
(slightly) below yours.

Next: Just get to know each other…


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CONNECT by Magnus

Strengthen the connection

You’ve established that she likes you (alot!). You’ve
established that you like her (you think… she’s a bit of
a brat, but yeah, she’s cool). It’d be rude not to get to
know each other! That’s just what happens when two people
like each other…

Only now is it safe to flick these attraction switches:
1) Safety and Trust
2) Stability
3) Ambition

Flicking 1 and 2 in the ATTRACT phase is a sure way to
defuse any future attraction. Flicking 3 too soon will
either make you seem like a nut or over-qualify you.
However, for anything more than a one night stand, it’s
pretty important that the girl is at least a little
comfortable with you in these ways.

You can relax a little in this stage. She’s locked into
you, she won’t want to leave you. If you have to part, a
contact-close is expected. This is the ideal time for a
venue change – it makes sense that you’d go somewhere more
comfortable to talk.


The threads are Physical, Emotional, Logical, Social,
Creative. In each of these areas you should demonstrate
uniqueness and experience.

These threads probably apply in the ATTRACT and QUALIFY
phases too, but the distinction is less important. To
build a deeper connection with a girl you must nurture them
all. You can build a FB relationship based only on the
Physical and perhaps the Social. Some girls will happily
be your girlfriend for years with only a couple of threads

Step-by-step, you should become more and more comfortable
with each other in each of these threads. If things seem
to go too fast, take a step back, concentrate on another
thread for a while. This is pivotal to overcoming LMR.

PHYSICAL – You should view getting laid as building a
gradual connection, from slow dancing, hand-holding, to
kissing, heavy-petting, and finally to penetration in a
variety of orifices. With this perspective, questions like
“when should I kiss her” become irrelevant.

EMOTIONAL – Communicate that you care about her feelings,
and allow her to care about yours. Unload all those RJ
patterns on her and take her on that emotional journey.
Even negative emotions are ok. Stories about getting lost
on the beach as a child, how you felt during your first
magic show, that sort of thing.

LOGICAL (INTELLECTUAL) – Stimulate her with jokes,
interesting discussions about whatever comes up, even
religion, politics is ok.Smart girls like guys who make
them think differently about stuff. It’s not about being
her intellectual equal or better, just about having a
different point of view.

SOCIAL – Some girls are all about the social – see Hitori’s
‘Women Explained (/inner_game/women_explained.html)’ post
It’s important for her to believe that you understand her
social scene, and for her to gain something socially from
being with you, or at least think she is (note, this could
be as simple as winding up her parents because she’s with
someone they view as socially INcompatible). Most girls
view the celebrity scene or soap operas as an extension of
their own social scene. This doesn’t mean revising from
Hello magazine, but if it’s on their coffee table, pick it
up and wind her up with perceptive comments. This
connection is built through long discussions about
travelling, education, friendship groups,

CREATIVE – Show that you are imaginative and original with
shit like the Cube, conversations about the Arts and music,
even films and television. Having tastes in these things in
common drives some girls crazy – go figure.

There are various stages to building each connection that I
will detail in a later post. Roughly, these are:

Intrigue and Mystery – You’ve demonstrated a bit of depth
in this thread, and she’s interested to find out exactly
how clever you are… whether your novel is any good…
whether you can really give her an all-over body orgasm.

Exploration – Communication between you is good, and you
spend hours talking on all of these threads, discovering
commonalities and differences of experience between you.

Connection – In a longer term relationship, you start to
rely on each other to satisfy the needs associated with
these threads. This can go sour and lead to co-dependence,
but when enough threads are satisfied elsewhere you will
find yourself in a healthy relationship.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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