What’s the REAL Way to Get a Woman’s Number
Below is another great article by Derek Vitalio. This one deals with
phone numbers. Personally I hate getting womens numbers without
having built some serious comfort of rapport, because nothing usually
comes from it.
How to Get a Woman’s Phone Number by Derek Vitalio
A lot of guys think that once they have a girls number, success!
Not so.
Just because you have a woman’s number, it doesn’t necessarily mean much.
Its quite possible that the girl took a liking to you, and you came across as cool dude. But a RANDOM dude nonetheless.
Sometimes women are flattered when they are asked for their number. So she gives it to you.
Sometimes women feel too guilty and bad to say no because you seem like a cool guy and they don’t want you to think they’re a bitch.
Even if, in the moment, she gives you her number and she would like you to call her, it doesn’t mean that two days later when you DO call, that shell be in same head space. The fire of the moment is gone and now she starts to rationalize reasons not to take your call.
That’s why most of the phone numbers that men get may be good for feeding their egos, but in reality are worthless pieces of paper.
You could go up to dozens of women, give them a compliment or ask for their opinion on something, and then get their number ? but 90% of the numbers you would get this way would lead to dead ends and message machines.
So whats the key to getting QUALITY phone numbers and not just quantity?
Most throwaway phone numbers are a result of the man getting the number too fast.
First of all, if you’re at a bar and meet a girl, don’t talk to her for only five minutes and then jump for the phone number and leave thinking you’re going to score. After all, what’s the point of getting a phone number in the first place… to meet up later and continue the seduction, right?
But you had her right there at the bar, right THEN. You could have used that opportunity to seduce her right THEN. You were on a date with her right THEN. So getting a number so that you can meet up with her later, and walking away from the interaction in the moment is totally counterproductive and nonsensical.
Also, if you get her phone number without going through the proper preliminary steps, then yes, the girl might be digging you, but in reality you didn’t have enough social value to her for her to want to start an ongoing, dating relationship with you.
A girl who with a social value of 8 might give her number to you if she perceives you to have a social value of 6… but that doesn’t mean shell follow up with you.
Phone numbers are only solid when you both have the same social value.
If you both have the same social value, shell be WAITING and HOPING for you to call.
So BEFORE you get a woman’s phone number, you want to make sure that you have at least equal, if not more social value than her.
That means having social proof if possible, using the nonverbal sexual cues, entertaining and leading her peer group, lowering her social value by temporarily ignoring her or teasing her, dressing well, ignoring social pressure, and so on all the methods that build social value in a woman’s eyes.
Then, once shes given you a few green lights, start screening her. If she passes your screening, accept her. Then isolate her if shes not alone with you already.
NOW you can get her number.
Basically, if you want a SOLID phone number that will have the girl waiting and hoping that you’ll call, don’t even both getting it until the girl has shown you a number of green lights and you’ve screened her and shes tried to pass your screening.
What Works Better than Phone Numbers
Instead of getting a woman’s phone number, propose an instant date right on the spot.
After all, why would you meet up with her up later for a date when you could go on a date with her RIGHT NOW?
If you’re on a campus, invite her to go to the bookstore with you and have coffee.
If you’re at a bar, invite her to go to Denny’s restaurant for nacho chips with you.
If you’re at the mall, tell her you need some help picking out a shirt.
Or you can even instant date her to her apartment if its nearby ? because you just have to show her your aquarium and the pirate crab with only one claw (or use whatever other excuse you can come up with).
When you score an instant date you’re no longer just some guy she met at a bar but rather you become a guy shes been on a date with. To a woman’s mind, its a much stronger position for you to be in.
If she declines the instant date, instead of getting a number, schedule your first date right then.
Say to her, Well Thursday I’m busy because I promised my friend Jennifer Id help her move but Friday I’m going to be hitting the beach with some friends. You can come too, it’ll be a blast.
Or tell her, You like comedy don’t you. I’m thinking of going to this comedy show Friday night Ive been wanting to see it for weeks now and I hear the guy is hilarious. You’ll bust your ass laughing.
Have a cool date idea prepared and ready to go BEFORE you go out so that you have something to fall back on in case nothing comes to your mind in the heat of the moment.
Also, try to couch it like you’re inviting her to something you were going to do ANYWAY, even if she wasn’t going to go with you. Couch it like you’re doing it is not dependent on her showing up. You ALREADY have a cool and exciting life and you’re just inviting her along for the ride.
Once you’ve scheduled the first date right there, THEN swap numbers.
Then it’s natural to get her number so you can keep in touch with her if your plans to change. You’re no longer getting her number to “date her”. You’re already dating!
Also feel free to call her up later and CHANGE the date plans on her. If you feel like it, call her up and change the day or what you’ll be doing. After all, you’re not tied to what you already specified by some mysterious law of the universe. Girls do this all the time to guys. And it just makes it look even more like what you’re doing isn’t dependent on her.
IF she resists going on an instant date with you, AND she wont commit to setting up a date right there and then, then fall back on swapping numbers. However, this probably means that you didn’t build enough social value to her in the first place and most likely the number will not be worth the paper its written on.
In fact, if you played the seduction right, SHE should be volunteering HER number. You shouldnt even have to ask for it.
Sometimes, just small tweaks in your methods can seriously UP the success of your game almost overnight.
Ditching the quick number strategy and knowing when and how to continue a seduction with a woman is only ONE of those tweaks.
There are HUNDREDS more.
And by knowing the rest of the scientific methods of seduction, you’ll learn how to build your social value so that women don’t just give you their numbers out of courtesy… but they give you their numbers because they pray at night that you, that super-sexy guy they met, call them.
And right now, there are thousands of beautiful women out there that have Seduction Science to thank for meeting a dream guy.
Why don’t YOU become one of those dream guys?
Derek Vitalio
Here is an article that offers tips on what to do when you have somehow failed to get her number:?https://www.tsbmag.com/2015/02/19/what-to-do-when-you-didnt-get-her-number/
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.