If Your Girlfriend is Away at College Refrain From Reading
This was a conversation I had with my buddy Ebin a couple months ago in the food court of the mall. Ebin is young and naive. I didn’t want to be so harsh with him, but he had to hear it.
â€œDump her right now!â€ I am in the middle of telling Ebin what his girlfriend will be doing come September when she goes away to college.
â€œI canâ€™t dump her. Iâ€™m in love with her,â€ he says.
This naÃ¯ve kid.
â€œYou only think you love her because youâ€™re getting steady pussy for the first time in your life,â€ I tell him.
â€œWe agreed we are going to make this workâ€
â€œSorry to shatter your dreams, but it ainâ€™t gonna work. Sheâ€™ll be out in Michigan partying away at college. In three months youâ€™re going to get the call. Best advice I can give you is to beat her to it.â€
â€œI was her first. She isnâ€™t going to dump me.â€
â€œYou were her first of many. Believe me I went to college. I know how it is.â€
â€œNo way she is gonna cheat on me. She looked me in the eye and swore.â€
â€œI hope you donâ€™t really believe this shit your telling yourself. Every girl I fucked in college had a boyfriend back home. But hey, maybe sheâ€™s different.â€
â€œShe is. All summer sheâ€™s crying how she doesnâ€™t want to leave.â€
â€œListen. Iâ€™m only saying this for your own good. At college, the first month of school, all the frats have rush parties. At these parties all the freshmen go and they drink. The girls drink the punch cause it taste good. The punch is filled with Everclear. You know what Everclear is?â€
â€œIts grain alcohol. The bitches drink a few glasses of the shit and next thing you know theyâ€™re in the dirty bathroom with their mouth around some brotherâ€™s cock, while his friends are watching, flipping coins to see who goes next. But hey maybe your girlfriend is different?â€
Ebin looks like he is going to puke.
â€œI canâ€™t break up with her.â€
â€œWhat are you like 19? I dated a girl for like three years when I was around your age. Bought a dog together and everything. I wasted three of my prime fucking years. For what? To watch Friends with her on Thursdays.â€
â€œDo you miss her now?â€
â€œI donâ€™t even remember what she looks like.â€
An update: This past Monday
Ebinâ€™s girlfriend has just finished telling him the magic number. 4. Maybe 5 guys, she was really drunk and she thinks he didnâ€™t keep his hard on long enough to get inside of her. But sheâ€™s not sure. She’s going to count it for sake of arguement.
Now, what this bitch did out in Michigan over the last couple months was expected. But why she felt the necessity to go into detail with him is one of the reasons I firmly believe that women can be the most predatory animal on the face of the earth.
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me