How Not to Be Low Value
Here is another good [[[PUA]]] newsletter I recieved from Sebastian of Master the Vibe.
Don’t Be Low Value by Sebastian Drake
I must confess something to you all. The fact is, we never
really know what anyone else is thinking. All we can do is
make educated guesses, ferret out common patterns, and produce
information about situations based on what works.
So straight up, to answer the ages old question, we never really
know why a woman rejects us. But we’ve found that in the vast, vast
majority of the time a girl isn’t attracted, it’s one of Value,
Attainability, or Compliance.
Where’s this go? I get this question probably every fourth program
– “How do I know if I’m low value?” It’s the hardest question to
answer, because it’s near impossible for someone to diagnose after
fixing their value. Put this way – you can tank attainability and
watch what happens, you can not get compliance and see what
happens, but no matter how hard a high value guy tries to emulate a
low value guy, he can’t… really… do it.
So instead, I present this to you:
The reason, I believe, that a man possesses the belief that he is low value is because he compares himself to his ideal self. He looks and says, “I could be more honest, I could be strong, I could be more healthy, I could be a harder worker, I could be more wealthy, I could be more consistent….” He makes a list of things he could be, but it is not, and it is – in fact – depressing.
But it ignores the reality of the matter. The fact is, you’re not competing with your “ideal self” for women. Whether you’re valuable or not has little to do with whether you’re perfect or not – and everything to do with how you stack up to what fulfills women’s needs, and to some extent the men around you.
So if you want to really free yourself – go look around the mall
sometime in the next week. Look at the men with women. Are they all
gigantically muscled, extremely rich, massively fashionable
outgoing intensely hard-working overachievers?
(No.)
What to do to become valuable is to work on your own life and also
the perception of being valuable. Some major pieces include:
*Having a good “Nonverbal Image Projection” – this is one of the
core tenets of theApproach about value. It’s getting value without
having to consciously do anything: Good body language, with
shoulders back and broad, chest out, stomach in, and head up.
Relaxed and fluid. Graceful movement. High value walking patterns,
and avoiding what we call “the polite zone” – the place people
stand when they’re meeting a complete stranger (either get inside
the polite zone when opening, or outside it, but never in it. It’s
slightly outside handshake distance in the United States, and
varies by country)
*Mastering Situational Relevance – this is saying things that jive
with the situation. Situational Relevance comes down to three
elements: Context, Energy level, and Comprehension level. Context
can be molded consciously, energy level is person specific (there’s
hyper girls in the library, and relaxed girls at loud dance clubs),
and comprehension level is inversely proportional to stimulus. Low
Comp vs. High Comp is an interesting and long talk… many guys
don’t like one or the other, but learning how to vibe in both means
you can be valuable in any of those areas.
*Focus – Girls don’t want guys who desperately chase girls. It’s a
turnoff. We encourage you to focus on things in the following order:
-Primary: Charge the Venue. 50-65% of Mental Energy. In order, make
sure you’re having fun, socialize, and make other people have fun.
If you’re not having fun, do what you enjoy, and failing that, use
nonverbal/playful openers and take on the mannerisms of a person
enjoying themself. Never be rude to anyone – even someone rude to
you – try to make everyone you interact with enjoy their night more.
-Secondary: Make Connections and See if People Meet Your Standards.
25-30% of your Mental Energy. Here you try to relate with people
and find common ground, and then see if they’d be compatible and
welcome to your life. You’re not trying to please people, you’re
trying to see if they measure up to what you want.
-Tertiary: Logistics, VAC, Tactics, and Everything Else. 5-25% of
mental energy MAX. Tactics, logistics, et cetra come after you’re
enjoying yourself and focusing on socializing and everyone else
having a nice time.
By combing the three above – Nonverbal Image, Situational
Relevanace, and a good Focus – you’ll be way ahead of where most
guys are. Most have poor body language and scurry around, can’t get
appropriate comments and interesting conversational subjects up,
and are desperately needy and trying to get laid. There’s lots more
to be done for value, but don’t judge yourself against your “ideal
self” as to whether you deserve women or not. You do. Go walk
around a mall and look at the all those “schmucks” with cute girls.
Go get ’em!
Sebby
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.