Another worth while newsletter to post from Sebastian Master the Vibe. I am becoming more and more a fan of his. I recently wrote a review of Master the Vibe.
Up Your Social Value by Sebastian DrakeÂ
Let’s talk about ATTAINABILITY.
To attract a woman, you need three elements: Value, Attainability,
and Compliance. Value is the easiest to wrap your mind around – we
all have a basic idea of what value is. It’s something that fills a
conscious or subconscious need.
Compliance is only slightly trickier to understand. The more
someone works for something, the more they like and appreciate it.
And furthermore, all men of high value have high standards they
hold women to: So compliance lends credibility to your value.
So let’s talk attainability. Attainability is the feeling that you
can personally access and be better because of something’s value.
Just because something is valuable, doesn’t mean people think they
can have it.
If you want a really quick illustration of attainability, check
Close your eyes for about 7 seconds, and imagine the woman that you
were most attracted to in your life.
Got her? The one that really drove you crazy throughout your life?
The one you stayed up late at night thinking about? If you don’t
have her, think it over for just a moment.
Okay. Now. Is that woman…
Any girl from a James Bond movie?
No? It’s probably a girl you knew well actually – a girl from
school, a girl in your social circle, one of your sister’s friends,
a coworker, an ex-girlfriend…
So how come it’s not the “highest value woman” in the world, by
whatever your measure of that is? It’s because you need to believe
something is attainable to get attracted to it.
In real life, if a woman doesn’t think you’re attainable, she won’t
get attracted. Period.
Now, attainability is NOT “Can I get this guy in bed with me?” It’s
not even, “Can I get this guy in a relationship?”
It’s whether she thinks she can access your value or not.
After lots of research, and going through as much simplification as
possible, here’s three questions that when the answer to all three
is yes, you’ll be seen as attainable:
*Compatability: Can a girl like me get a guy like him?
*Respect: Will he respect me as a friend?
*Legitimacy: Is this for real?
-> Can a girl like me get a guy like him?
Can a girl of her type get with and be happy with a guy like you?
First, if you’re from very similar backgrounds, just talking will
find those commonalities and increase attainability. If you’re from
very different backgrounds, qualify her that you like the things
she’s about and is. If she’s from another country, for instance,
tell her about an ex-girlfriend or friend you have from that
country – it shows you like and respect people from there.
If she’s a painter, you can say, “I love artists – that’s really
And so on. By the way, the now-cheesey “What’s your sign?” was
originally brought into pickup in the 70’s to help guys appear
compatible to girls.
-> Will he respect me as a friend?
Women want their casual flings to be with guys that they trust, who
won’t ruin their reputations or make them feel bad afterwards. They
want their relationships to be built on friendship. “Respect as a
friend” is extremely powerful in attracted girls by increasing
attainability and value.
Overdose on the word “friend”. Most guys are afraid of the word.
But when you say it yourself, you put yourself in the driver’s
seat, show you’re not desperate or clingy, and that you respect her.
“You’re such a good friend.”
“I’m glad you’re my friend.”
“You’re an awesome friend.”
“You’re just like all my friends.”
“It’s great to become friends with you.”
“You’re just like my friend Maria.”
“You remind me of a lot of my friends.”
Show her that she can fit in with your friends, and also treat her
like a friend. Cultivate a relaxed, casual, trusting dynamic like
you would with a friend. Dinner and a movie – not something you’d
do the first time you hang out with a new friend. So instead,
invite the girl out to “tag along with me while I run some errands,
and then we can go grab a coffee”. Invite her to things you were
doing anyway, or to laid back fun events that appeal to you. Like
you would one of your pals.
-> Is this for real?
Ahh, legitimacy. If your game is too smooth, you seem like you’re
not really doing something special or unique, and that she’s just
another girl you’re using lines on. So don’t be real, not too
If you approach and attract her in a non-traditional place, pace
it. “It’s crazy to meet a new friend while shopping.”
Find one thing she did, and attribute the fact that you talked to
her to that. “I’m glad you smiled at me… we wouldn’t have met if
Introduce yourself quickly: If you meet a girl, you’re “the guy in
the nightclub”. If you walk away, and come back, then “the guy from
earlier is coming back”. You want to get out of that ASAP – go from
being “the guy” to “Andy”. Hey, Andy’s back, cool.
Ask 2-5 boring questions after first meeting the girl. Boring
questions are a big no-no. Once you master conversational skills
that let you cut threads and talk in a captivating way, your
natural inclination will be to drop the boring questions like “You
from around here?” entirely. Good call – except ask at least two of
them. If you don’t ask ANY, you come across as way too smooth. You
want to come across as the most highly socially skilled, cool,
genuine guy in the world – not like a player with a schtick.
For guys with value in their lives that naturally have high
standards, attainability is THE difference between attracting and
getting results from women and not.
If she thinks,
“A girl like me could get a guy like him.”
“He’ll respect me as a friend.”
“This is for real.”
Then you, my friend, are IN. So get your life handled, let her know
you’re attainable, and hold her up to your standards. Play on
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me