How to Get Opened and In
Below is a good article from Sebastian of Master the Vibe.
Opening Women by Sebastian Drake
We talk lots about compliance here at theApproach – to become
attracted to something, people need to put work or effort into it.
It ties into the Cost/Worth Conception – people think things are
worth what they cost. If you set the price for yourself too low,
women will think you’re not worth anything… if you were,
certainly you’d have higher standards and ask to be treated well, no?
So we talk about and teach how to screen women to see if they’re
the type you want, and how to get them to help you with your goals,
and even to spend some money on you.
The thing is – compliance starts immediately in an interaction. The
lowest levels – her acknowledging and responding to you socializing
– is what we call “base compliance”. These are the small things
that she needs to do for the interaction to get started.
Base compliance is what the girl needs to do in the VERY START of
the interaction for the interaction to begin and for her to want
you there. There’s 5 steps in base compliance:
3. Answering Questions
4. Responding to Statements
5. Active Contribution
Here’s what the woman has to do:
1. Acknowledgement: She needs to physically acknowledge you – look
in your general direction.
2. Listening: She needs to listen to you, and be able to hear you
as you open and start conversing.
3. Answering Questions: She needs to answer your questions after
and during opening.
4. Responding to Statements: Conversations aren’t interrogations.
After a while, your conversations need to shift into you making
statements, and her responding to those and contributing to the
5. Active Contribution: Finally, she needs to help actively
contribute to the interaction by asking you good questions, picking
up where you left off, and helping the interaction move forwards.
A couple quick notes:
So what can you do with this? This is for troubleshooting – EVERY
time you don’t open, you didn’t get one of these levels of base
compliance. You don’t always have to go in order through them, but
every time a girl doesn’t open, one of these steps is where.
If it just happens once, it’s interesting. But if you keep running
into the same problem with opening, you can work on the following
things. Here’s how to troubleshoot base compliance:
1. Acknowledgement: If the girl won’t acknowledge you, you should
look at your nonverbal image projection – the mix of your
bodylanguage, fluidity in motion (being graceful as opposed to
clumsy – which can be learned), walking patterns from both entering
the club (slowly… not scurrying) and approaching the girl (no
hesitation she sees). If your nonverbals are way off, girls can
brush you off before you even go to open. Second, make sure you’re
not opening directly from behind. The side, front, front-side, or
whatever – it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not directly from
behind. You’ll sometimes get away with opening directly from
behind, but because of the chance to startle the person, open from
the front or side whenever possible.
2. Listening: Listening follows from acknowledgement: Your
nonverbals will be looked at again, and you’ll have to have a
command presence where the woman will listen and respond to you.
Also, you’ll need to be loud enough to be heard in loud nightclubs.
3. Answering Questions: After she’s listening, you’re opening. If
she refuses to answer questions after you open, it’s ALWAYS a
problem with Situational Relevance – is what you said appropriate
for the context, at the right level of comprehension for the venue,
and near her energy level? Your opener needs to be situationally
relevant, and your questions need to follow situationally
relevantly from the opener.
4. Responding to Statements: This is where a lot of guys get in
trouble. Here’s the thing – interactions shouldn’t be
interrogations. At some point, you need to get into a spot where
you’re making statements, and she’s responding, and it’s going back
and forth. But some girls have a problem doing so. Here’s what you
*Make a statement
*Pause and give her a chance to reply
*If she doesn’t reply, ask a question that follows from your
*Threadcut her answer (make a statement based upon at least one
word or the theme or what she said that goes in another direction)
So if she’s already answering questions and not yet responding to
statements, here’s what you can do:
You: Where you from?
Her: Los Angeles.
You: Cool – I love Los Angeles. My favorite is hanging out at
Melrose and Venice Beach…
(wait…. no answer from her?)
You: What’s your favorite thing about Los Angeles?
Her: I like Hollywood a lot.
You: That’s cool. We go out clubbing in the Hollywood area sometimes.
You: You a clubber?
Her: A little.
You: Yeah, that’s cool. I like heading to places with mixed kinds
of music… like more than one room or dance floor. House music is
Her: Oh yeah? I love house music! My favorite is…
Jackpot – see at the end, she responds to a statement with her own
statement – conversations need to move in the direction. If you
make situationally relevant, interesting threadcuts, and keep doing
so, she’s ALWAYS going to respond at some point – and then she’s
put more into the interaction, and is becoming more attracted to
you if you’ve got the value and attainability down.
5. Active Contribution: After she’s answering questions and
responding to statements, you’ve got a normal conversation. Through
it, you can get her to put in work (good for compliance), and show
her that she’s got a shot at you (attainability). Your value can be
established any number of ways, either conversationally or
nonverbally as well.
To get active contribution from a girl, you need the first four
levels of base compliance (acknowledgement, listening, answering
questions, responding to statements) as well as some general VAC –
you’re valuable, she has a shot at you, and she’s started to work
to get you.
Then – and this is crucial – master the art of shutting up when
appropriate. If she hasn’t been jumping in and aiding the
conversation heavily at the 20-30 minute mark, try letting
conversation die in a relaxed way so that she has to pick it back
up. If you’re rambling nonstop, it doesn’t give her an opportunity
to contribute which is crucial.
Don’t overthink base compliance when out socializing – but it is an
excellent troubleshooting technique. If your openers aren’t working
when you’re out, you can pin it to one part of base compliance
every single time – and fix the part that needs fixing.
Also, remember this – getting higher levels of compliance
automatically unlocks a lower level. So, if she gives you a
compliment to start the interaction (active contribution), she’s
obviously acknowledging you. Just like how if you can get her to
come over and clean your house, do your laundry, and cook you
dinner, sex becomes automatic. Cool, huh?
Have fun, keep playin’!
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me