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Fuck Nostalgic Weekends!

I didn’t take my own advice. I should have just stayed away from Homecoming Weekend 2007. It wasn’t a total disaster but it did not live up to expectations I saw in my mind.

Okay, here is how I envisioned the weekend:

After telling my girl I need a much needed couple nights out with the guys I would be free to prowl my old stomping ground for a nice piece of feed I missed back in my active college days. After a fun night of drinking with the guys and girls of my past I would find said girl and bring her back to my place for some College Gang Band type sex. I would wake up Saturday morning feeling sporty and refreshed and repeat the evening play for play Saturday night.

Here is how the weekend went down:

I was so relieved for my night out that I started drinking at four in the afternoon. By the time I got to the first of the three bars I went to, I was sloppy and shit faced. Even sloppy and shit faced I realized that all of the quality girls were married… my ex Beth included… who was happily parading around with her husband. In a drunkend rant I try to hit on Beth’s old roomate Kim. Kim wants no part of blasted Bobby and Beth watches as I get shot down by her friend (a girl both Beth and I made fun of mercilessly in college) After accessing that the place was “dead anyway” Me and a couple friends head to the Pub for some late night action. A minute after walking in one of my friends gets thrown out for brawling with the bouncer ( i am completely unaware this happens as I am in stealth pussy seeking mode) After doing a couple sick laps of the place (completely doing everything I shouldn’t be doing) I realize this place is “dead anyway.” My friends are all gone and I have no ride home. I spot a crowd of old Alpha Kappa girls. These were the college cows. I make my way over and let them by me a drink. We close the bar out at 3am. I have two choices. I can spend thirty dollars on a cab or I can talk one of the fatties to drive me home. I have spent all my money on alchohol so needless to say ten minutes later I’m in the back of some fat girl’s Honda, finger fucking some other fat girl, while her other fat friend sits next to us pouting. The night ends there.

I wake up in the morning with a horrible toothache. I go to the dentist and he tells me I need a root canal. He talks me in doing the root canal right then. I drop $900 on a toothache. I decide that I’m going to stay in Saturday.

Yes, not quite the Homecoming Weekend I envisioned. Sadly, this is the first one in three years that I didn’t fuck an old sorority girl. But it was great seeing some old friends. Oh well, there our annual Halloween Party to look forward to in a few weeks.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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