Body Language 101 (day 12)
We’re at the 12th day of our 31 Days to Better Game series. Yesterday The Asian Rake gave us a great lesson on how higher status men need to pull girls in more. One of the trademarks of higher status men is their confident alpha body language. These men can command the attention of a room before they even open their mouths. Today’s lesson is a close look at the body language habits all alpha males share.
Body Language 101 by Bobby Rio
The first thing you need to accept about your body language is that right now you’re probably completely unaware of the mistakes that you are making. For me, it took watching myself on video a few times to really appreciate how many mistakes I was actually making.
The first part of this lesson I want to make you aware of the different ways you are conveying low status. Hopefully by being consciously aware of these mistakes you can catch yourself in the act, and quickly correct them. By taking the time to first break any of these bad habits you may have, you will be making it possible to accept the new habits I will talk about later.
Body Language mistakes
1. Slouching Over. Slouching over is a way of keeping a low profile. Subconsciously people slouch because they are timid and don’t want attention on them. It portrays an image that you are socially awkward and unable to properly socialize. People try to blend in with the crowd by slumping their shoulders, bowing their heads, and taking up as little space as possible.
2. Avoiding Eye Contact. Less confident people tend to look down a lot. They do this because it is away of avoiding making a connection with someone. They are afraid that if they catch eye contact with someone they will be forced to talk or smile or do something else beyond their comfort zone. By avoiding eye contact with people not only are you giving off a low status vibe, but you’re missing out on opportunities to connect with other human beings.
3. Touching Your Face, Fiddling with Things. When people feel insecure or nervous they start to have trouble sitting still. Their insecurity eats away at them and they feel forced to constantly be moving their hands. Some people will rub their chin or neck, other people with run their hand through their hair, others will juggle the loose change in their pocket. Doing any of these things immediately screams that you are not comfortable in your present situation.
4. Holding Your Face up with Your Hand. This displays the image that you’re too bored or tired to bother holding up your head straight. It displays a lack of enthusiasm and energy towards life. These are not the kind of people other people want to interact with.. as they appear to have nothing to offer. It can also give off the impression that you’re uncomfortable with the way you look and are trying to hide your face.
5. Leaning Forward to Talk to Someone. A quick glance around a room can tell you which guys are going to succeed with the women they are talking to, and which guys will fail. The successful guys are usually relaxed leaning away from the girl, causing her to move toward him. The unsuccessful guys are the ones bent over leaning forward. If you think she can’t hear you… talk louder.
Body Language Habits of the Alpha Male
This second part of this lesson is designed to improve your body language and replace the negative habits you may have been displaying.
Habit 1: Make it a practice to hold eye contact with everyone that you meet. While doing the talking you should be holding eye contact for the majority of the time. If someone else is talking to you, hold eye contact about 50% of the time. If you’re talking to a group of people switch eye contact up between the different members of the group… but always be holding it with someone.
Habit 2: Get in the habit of walking around with your head up and your neck straight. In the beginning you will need to constantly be checking yourself. Create a little game with your self to remind yourself to pay attention to your posture. Tell your friends to point this out to you.
Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. This is especially true of your facial muscles. When we tend to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. You need to keep your face free of this stress.
Habit 4: Smile often. If you don’t have a naturally attractive smile than you should practice in front of a mirror. A smile displays a positive energy that is infectious.
Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. The idea is to take up some space. This is another habit you will have to check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching.
Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders.
Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. Spread yourself out a bit. Don’t slouch and look sloppy, but don’t be afraid to get comfortable.
Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. This means your head should be high, neck up, chest puffed out a bit, shoulders back, and take big slow steps. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered. Also walk with direction. This is especially true when walking through a bar… you never want to give off the vibe that you’re looking for the cool place to be. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already are heading there.
Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures. Every gesture you make should flow naturally at the same speed as your previous gestures.
Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. When talking to someone avoid clutching on to your beer or putting your hands in your pocket.
The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated gestures. If you’re giving a girl a once over, do it slowly like it doesn’t embarrass you that she noticed. If you’re grabbing a drink off the bar take it at a speed that says “I’m in no hurry.” Try learning how to turn your head slowly, how to blink slowly, how to change facial expressions slowlyand how to gesture slowly. This kind of body language transmits the
message: Im so comfortable in my own skin, it hurts.
On the subject of body language… voice tone is insanely important. While technically it isn’t body language, all the same rules apply to it.
Most people speak with weak, squeaky voices that conveys the message: Im not confident I have no self esteem
If you want to attract beautiful women, youre going to need to take a few lessons from Barry White. Learn how to speak with a deeper voice. Learn to speak from down in your chest and stomach. Add more bass to your voice.
Also, learn how to speak slower and how to articulate every word better. Become comfortable pausing it creates anticipation. Most guys talk too much, too fast, and feel like they need to talk because theyre nervous. Dont do it! Learn to lean back, relax, and become comfortable with the tension that comes from silence.
Body language and voice tone habits are not easy to change. It takes time and determination to break a bad habit and replace it with a new one. But if you implement these habits over rest of these 31 days you will find that eventually it will become natural to you.
If you work on using your BODY AND VOICE to communicate that youre a confident, sexually aware alpha male, then all the techniques youre learning will work TEN times better.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.