Are You Jerking Off Too Much?


I recently wrote a post about how to naturally increase your testosterone level.  One of the ways I listed to increase testosterone was to have more sex.  Sexual stimulation causes the body to increase the production of oxytocin which increases endorphin production (the feel-good chemical), and this also raises testosterone.

One of readers, Sub5stance, brought up a very solid point.

I think I read on a web site (possibly this one) that while more sex increases testosterone, thats not true of masturbation. Does anyone have any knowledge about whether masturbation is good bad or indifferent?

Since I got into the game and especially since I raised my self-esteem and started working out more, Ive found that I no longer masturbate and actually feel less needy and more alpha (possibly because of that).

XTCWhile I have not found any concrete evidence that too much masturbation can lower testosterone levels… I do believe that too much masturbation can damage your self esteem, and in fact, make you less alpha.

We’ve all been there.  We are going through a slump.  We are horny as hell.  We casually make our way to our favorite porn site… and then take care of business.

We all know how fleeting the pleasure of masturbation is.  We instantly go from the highest of highs… to the lowest of lows.

The minute we finish we start with the negative self talk. “Why did I do that again?”  “When am I going to have sex instead of resorting to this?”  “Why can’t I get laid already?”

It is not the masturbation that effects your self esteem… it is the negative self talk afterwards.  After reaching orgasm you are at peak emotional state.  You are in a very powerful state to accept affirmations to your subconscious. And by thinking these negative thoughts you are drilling them into your psyche.

The reason that masturbation can be seen as a bad thing is because we view it as a cop out.  Instead of going out and trying to make a real connection with a girl… we take the easy route to sexual gratification.  If we are doing this constantly we run the risk of giving up on experiencing that real connection.

It would be unreal and impossible for me to tell you to quit rubbing one out.  Hell, we’re men.  But I would advise you to keep your jerking off to a minimum.

It is a fine line of having that built up sexual energy.  If you can transmute that sexual energy like Napoleon Hill talks about in his classic book Think and Grow Rich it is possible to really use that built up energy to your advantage.On the other hand, if you are so damn horny that you can’t think straight than I would advise rubbing one out.

My advise it to refrain from those self deflating jerk off binges.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  3 times in one day.  The last load barely drips out of you.  After wards you just lay there in self disgust.

Like anything in life… jerking off is best in moderation.

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it.  Girl's don't make it easy for you.  She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty.  If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.


  1. Altair

    July 21, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    I don’t know man. I think it’s different for everyone. I feel less needy after jerking it and have an easier time talking to girls because I’m not thinking about sex as much.

  2. Bobby Rio

    July 21, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    ALtair… im not talking about rubbing one occasionally.. i’m talking about one of those 4 load benders…

    personally i like to be fully loaded.. hahaha maybe cuz im getting older lol.. but once i rub one out I get lazy as hell.

    But you are right.. if you are so horny you can’t control your neediness than it might be a good idea to jerk it.

  3. athena

    July 21, 2008 at 10:33 pm

    Well – I can tell you right know – your body chemically doesn’t know the difference between an orgasm from a girl and an orgasm from yourself.

    Only how you feel about it affects you. Personally, I think you guys are crazy to ever feel bad about it – or see it as a substitute for sex. I mean, even if you had the hottest woman alive boinking you every single day, whenever you want – you will STILL masturbate! It just feels good! Its good for you! I know I personally use it as a tool for stress and mood management and to keep my libido up…

    But, I understand a lot of those negative feelings are pretty ingrained. The answer to that is pretty simple: either do it less, change how you feel about it, or some combo of the two.

    • Anonymous

      September 13, 2011 at 10:17 pm

      Nooooo!!!!! we wouldnt still masterbate……you fuckin kiddin! Thats the whole point. If we had a hottie there wouldmt be a reason to wack off. The hottest chick ever! givin it to us anytime we want! You miss the point completely…then again you are a woman.

  4. AlexVega

    July 22, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Much like what Bobby said I find that jerking off lowers my sex drive and makes me much more lazy. I don’t have that “im so horny, i need to go out and sarge” drive. I can no longer be bothered going out etc. Its good to rub one out every now and again if you go through too much of a lul in your game, as if it built up long enough you’d probably implode lol. Its not good to use it as a replacement for sex, as doing that will ruin your sex drive.

  5. sub5tance

    July 22, 2008 at 10:34 am

    AlexVega – I agree totally. I think from what you and Bobby are saying (and what I also have found) is … that masturbation (and sex) relieves sexual tension and desire.

    But, for many men, like us – a lack of sexual tension and desire directly affects our motivation to meet and interact with other people, including women even in a seemingly non-sexual way. It is a rather sad state of affairs – but I guess its how nature designed us men LOL

    And since (arguably) sexual drive *indirectly* drives most of our other motivations such as competing in sports, making money, socializing, looking good, and doing ‘stuff’ (as opposed to sitting around in our underwear, watching ‘The Simpsons’ reruns, drinking Duff beer, and eating donuts) then it *can* have an adverse effect on our lives if we do it frequently.

    So thanks Bobby for writing this article in relation to my original question and for everyone with their comments – I think the summary is: There’s nothing wrong with masturbation – but *if* you want to live a ‘full’ life and stay on top of your game then keep it to a necessary minumum ..!

  6. athena

    July 22, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I don’t know you guys – I’m sure everyone is different – but from personal experience and what I’ve worked on with guys – regular, daily orgasms keep your libido up. especially if you are already getting sex on a regular basis.

    and lets not forget all the possible training features! It’s common knowledge that if a girl wants to experience an orgasm from sex, she will have to learn to give herself one first. The same is true if she wants multiples – she has to work hard at doing it to herself first.

    I can tell you, it works for guys, too – If you ALWAYS try to come once more after your first orgasm, eventually it will become easier and easier to do. Pretty soon, you will stay harder longer after cumming, and have good chances of a second wind during sex. Once you have that skill, you NEVER have to worry about cumming too soon, or timing your orgasm at all. It wont matter how long or how quickly it takes her to climax – you will be set in every situation.

    • rikharper

      February 26, 2010 at 4:23 pm

      I love that you know that bcause so many women and some guys have no clue

  7. Jasonb

    July 22, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    Also,excessive release of semen can also lower what is called “ojas”, the Sanskrit word for “life fluid.” It can lower your immunity, and also drain your energy, especially as you grow older. Try holding it in for 2 days and watch as your mental alertness and energy level is noticeably increased. If you release more than once a day, try and have a glass of organic dairy boiled before bed or take an Ayurvedic herb called Amalaki to rejuvenate yourself.

  8. lilez0521

    July 23, 2008 at 8:42 am

    It’s funny how you use the word boink athena. You just need a balance in between the jerking and the actual sex.

  9. id

    July 31, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    First of all.. that picture. Ew.

    To be honest I’m a little creeped out by the tone of this article… Damage your self esteem. going to the Lowest of lows.. “Why did I do that again?” and all the other negative self talk. We view it as a cop out.. Afterwards you lay there in self disgust… IDK who wrote this article, but I’ve never experienced any of these things. Its jacking off. Its like blowing your nose. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m surprised you didn’t say it makes you go blind.

    • Anonymous

      September 1, 2010 at 11:28 am

      thank you man i tottally agree

  10. Kent

    September 3, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    My game has just been terrible this summer – nothing but rejection after rejection (I mean 100s of approaches) so put it plain and simple if it wasnt for porn – I would have not sex!

  11. MikeStoute

    September 3, 2008 at 11:14 pm

    I am going to have to agree with id on this one. I never feel bad after… Just like blowing your nose. you’re funny.

    Recent Words from MikeStoute..Can You Take Being in the Spotlight?

  12. Brad

    January 11, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    I jack off once a day and love it. Ive also never experienced any of those things all i feel is pleasure.

  13. ken

    January 29, 2009 at 8:21 am

    well i think it lowers my self esteem a lot makes me lazy and feel bad about my self but thats after i cum b4 i just need to let that load off i also agree with bobby

  14. Mark

    April 18, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    What a bizarre article. I’ve never felt bad after masturbating. If you do, it’s not from masturbating; it’s from your own guilt, and it’s probably something you need to work on.

  15. Jerked

    October 25, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    What’s the big deal with having to whack your pud every chance you get?
    I”ve caught my boyfriend in the shower a few times now. Or what about the porno he watches every time I’m gone. even if i’m only gone an hour. It’s pathetic and repulsive! How am I supposed to feel??

    • Anonymous

      December 29, 2009 at 11:04 pm


    • rikharper

      February 26, 2010 at 4:40 pm

      women get just as horny as we men do but the same way. women can plan a romantic night and if it goes to plan, will have the best orgasm by the end of the night. men on the other want it when we feel at that point and time and th bottom line is your not gonna be there everytime our man gets horny. Even when we make plans, I can’t tell you how many times I made plans for tomorrow based on how I felt while we talked today. then tomorrow comes and I’m not really in the mood anymore be cause the moments passed. now I’m a guy so I can be put in the mood easily but that usually involves putting myself into the position to be seduced the right way and like i said, the moment is gone so … lol but i not to sidetrack myself, thats why most guy have the need to do it. we are made differently from women you have to be built like us to understand. and vice versa

  16. Anonymous

    August 31, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Females are the devil.

  17. Zaki

    July 13, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    I feel week and really bad right after jercking off

  18. Zaki

    July 13, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    I feel week and really bad right after jerking off

  19. Anonymous

    September 28, 2014 at 2:33 am

    in one word. harmfullllllllllllll

  20. Lox

    January 2, 2015 at 10:06 pm

    You know, I have spent my entire life studying sex. (the clinical side of it.) What I have learned is this:

    Simply put, stop thinking about it and just go with what feels good.
    First alpha has NOTHING to do with masturbation it is a presence, an attitude. and how often you jerk off doesn’t influence that. I am a dominant ALPHA female. I make both alpha males AND females tremble in my wake. I do it all with a smile. They cave and become immediately submissive… and let me tell you I sometimes masturbate from 2 time a day to 20 time a day depending on how my raging hormones are. It has no influence on how my presence or attitude is, my thoughts have a direct correlation though.

    Most sexual issues are 95% psychologically based. IT is your head, your mind that gets in the way and you know, that is NORMAL. Our brains are devious and do mean things to us instinctively. It is OUR job to quell that and override that. Men do have the vasocongestion issue usually related to other factors lie heart disease PAD atherosclerosis. usually the pelvic artery has a issue, sometimes it is due to a nerve compression. While viagra and cialis might help temporarily it doesn’t solve the real problem. (in the head.)

    Athena is correct your actual body does not recognize how you achieved the orgasm an orgasm is an orgasm.

    It is a neurophysiological reflex to an over-stimulation of sexual tension. This can be achieved in many ways. Basically its like a seizure but it feels good. you literally have a fraction of a second lapse of consciousness. You have several chemicals that are released during this time. (after the actual orgasm this is way that cuddle time is important for women.)

    The truth is, tension is tension. you can acheieve the same thing just by clenhing your muscles repeatedly until you orgasm. Not as fun, but possible. Mechanically it’s easy to achieve for just about everyone, what gets in the way are those thoughts were brought up with.

    You’re a worthless man if you aren’t having sex with a woman, bullshit. You’re a man and still a man whether you’re with someone or not. Nothing changes that. Just like a woman is a woman whether she has sex with someone or not.

    you are no less worthless than the other human nearby you. If you strip away all of those labels good bad man woman male female hot not sexy gross big small, you only have one thing. human. Focus on that. That is what you are. No amount of encouragement will help you until you dismiss the labels you put on yourself or allow others to label you as. only you know you best. No one can know you better.

    Masturbation feels great. its great exercise it does stimulate hormonal release it regulates for both males and females. the more you use it he more you’ll want to. as the saying goes, use it or lose it, is very true. Stop feeding into the fallacies of pharmaceutical companies that only want your money. Listen to the researchers. the real deal the sexologists. the sexual therapists. trust me, none of them are getting paid to work for a pharmaceutical company. doctors are swayed but they still have their own views on things.

    Don’t shame yourself by ignoring your issues. Talk with your doctor, your therapist. you are no less of a man or a woman than anyone else. Think of it this way. You’re more of a man or woman because you had the freaking GUTS to say something to take a stand to be YOU to help YOURSELF get to where you want to be.

    The only one who can emasculate you is yourself. Go masturbate feel like a real man ROAR! you know it feels good to shoot your load across the fucking room. Get in touch with the inner human. screw the labels. The real role of alpha is to inspire to empower to show you can protect and care. that you have a brain and that you are confident.

    No one is truly confident. but it helps a lot to be confident in oneself as much as possible. I’m not saying yell out to the world “I AM GOD WORSHIP ME” that is not alpha, that’s dipshit. (Arrogance is NOT a turn-on.)

    You want the benefits of masturbation there’s at least twenty of them. so get strokin’ dudes. Most important one is regular masturbation has been proven to improve the health and number of sperm. It also helps prevents other issues like UTIs and incontinence. Also regular masturbation helps keep the circulation flowing properly in your genitourinary areas.

    Strokin, strokin, strokin down the rivah… haha have fun guys. (and gals)

You must be logged in to post a comment Login


Never Run Out of Things to Say to Women Again

  • Conversation Games That Create Attraction
  • The Secret to Making “Small Talk” Sexier
  • How to Make Her Laugh (and make her want you)
  • 3 Tricks to Avoid Awkward Silences

Yes... You Can
HAVE My Collection
of Word-for-Word Conversations with Women Report
(you get the PDF Report + Full Audio Training)

* This is a FREE service and no credit card required.