Day Game Q & A- With Pickup Artist Soul
We got a handful of questions back about the latest day game video, and day game in general. Most of them were similiar so I condensed them into five topics.
TSB MAG: Are there any particular signs that you look that signal how open a girl might be to converse with a random guy on the street? Or any warning signs that she might not be up for a chat?
SOUL: Look out for girls that are walking slowly, looking around a lot (e.g. at the sky, the buildings around them, at strangers walking past them), and girls that are carrying books or listening to iPods. Girls that are moving slowly are typically in no rush and therefore if a guy who is well dressed and carries himself with confidence starts an interesting conversation with them, they’re often happy to engage.
When a girl is looking around a lot, it could mean she is daydreaming, she is new in town, or she is visiting. All of these things mean she will be open to an adventure with a charming stranger!
If she is carrying a book, she obviously has some free time and wants to relax and enjoy herself. Ask yourself why she is reading the book in a park or caf rather than at home: she wants to be around people and interact with them.
The iPod thing is an interesting one. Almost all my workshop clients get scared stiff to “interrupt” a girl listening to her iPod. I tell them, “Look, if you’re listening to music somewhere, doesn’t it mean you’re kinda bored and trying to entertain yourself? What if some hot girl stopped you to talk with you instead? Wouldn’t that be more fun than listening to the iPod?”
TSB MAG: In the video you mentioned showing passion. Any tips for getting into state immediately to approach a set during the day?
SOUL: My good friend Sasha taught me something really useful that helps for this. He says, “Approach the first hot woman you see every day of your life. Do this, and it will change your life forever.” He wasn’t wrong. If you let your nerves and your emotions get the better of you on the first hot girl you see and you avoid approaching her (“But she’s with her friends! She looks mean! She’s out of my league!!”), then that hesitation and sense of doubt in yourself will only grow with every other hot woman you see that day.
So as soon as you’re out of bed and you see a beautiful woman, go up to her, tell her what you think of how she looks and why you wanted to start talking to her. Do this irrespective of how you feel and how you look. Of course it’s not going to help my chances when I’m in my dirty sweat pants coming back from the gym, but I still won’t let that stop me from approaching a beautiful woman.
TSB MAG: You say that its good to be funny and tease… what kind of humor and teasing do you find works best? What topics are safe? What topics are off limits?
SOUL: The fact is women very rarely get approached on the street. They get a lot of cat calls, wolf whistles and insecure guys staring at them, but few guys have the balls to just stop her and start a conversation. So I always joke whether I’m the first guy to pick her up on the street that day or whether anyone else has as well. A lot of times I reverse the roles and pretend like she’s the one hitting on me: “So come on, how many other cute guys have you stopped on the street today?”
I’m careful not to be overly cocky though. Cocky humour gets old fast in the daytime. After you’ve made her giggle once or twice, relax and let her see the other attractive parts of your personality.
TSB MAG: Why do you think direct game like you guys used works so much better than the indirect game that normally works better in clubs?
SOUL: Direct approaches are really well suited to the daytime because people tend to be busier and in less social states of mind. Being direct allows you a good reason to start a conversation with her; indirect approaches on the other hand can often come off as lacking in authenticity.
In a nightclub, people are expected to be social and start random conversations with each other. But why would you ask a random woman walking past you on the street what her opinion was on the color of your socks, for example? It doesn’t make as much sense.
TSB MAG: What do you find is best way to invite the girl for an instant bounce, for say coffee or a drink?
SOUL: You need to establish how busy she is early on. Get a sense of what her plans for the day are, e.g. by asking “What are you up to today?” or “What have you got planned for the rest of the day?”
If she has some free time right now, it’s worth going for an instant date. After having a good conversation with her for 5-10 minutes, show some appreciation for her company (what we call “qualification”, e.g. “You know you seem to be a really interesting person. I think it’s cool how you’ve travelled so much.”), and then ask her if she’d like to have a quick cup of coffee.
The venue you take her to should be really, really close by. You don’t want to have a large distance between where you meet her and where you instant date her otherwise you’re asking for a lot of commitment from her.
TSB MAG: Off the topic of day game, what would you recommend in the way of creating attraction and escalating with a girl that I am really good friends with?
SOUL: Wow, this is a big question! Attraction is attraction, regardless of whether she is a friend or a stranger you’ve just approached on the street. You need to focus on the 8 attraction switches (fully described in Magic Bullets), e.g. confidence and humor as per normal when trying to date a woman.
But because you’re friends with her, you need to be careful of escalating when she’s not attracted to you, or doing it in front of people that you both know, e.g. her friends or your friends. To figure out if she’s attracted to you, check how closely she sits to you, whether she touches her hair a lot when she is with you, whether she looks at your lips when you talk etc. If you think she is attracted to you, then make sure you have her alone somewhere before you try to escalate things with her.
I’d suggest a really small escalation step, such as touching the tips of her hair with your fingers and saying, “I love your hair,” to see how she responds. If she doesn’t pull away or look startled, then she’s probably attracted and you can continue escalating.
The last thing is to make sure she knows you will still respect her as a friend no matter what happens. Emphasize to her how you love her company and how you believe in honesty in relationships and treating people well. Girls love sex; they just want to know that you’ll still respect them after you’ve had sex with them.
Keep up with Soul over at his personal blog www.lifewithsoul.com.
You can also take one of this increasingly popular Day Game Workshops.
About Soul Soul is a lead instructor with Love Systems, formerly The Mystery Method corp. He is the pioneer of Daytime Dating, a method that teaches men to meet and attract the women of their dreams, anytime and any place. He believes in real connection, deep love, amazing sex and having 100% integrity in everything he does. You can catch him on a Day Game Workshop or read about his adventures and thoughts on his blog www.lifewithsoul.com