Every Dean Has Its Day
An outrageously intoxicated Rob Judge (played by Rob Judge) makes his starring debut in a no-holds-bars action/thriller/comedy that begins as a night of downed beers, high fives, and inappropriate outbursts, and ends in disastrous consequences. When the RA known forebodingly around the dorms as “Splinter” because she has a reputation for being “a giant rat that belongs in a sewer” investigates a wild bender thrown by Judge and company, action and suspense are quick to follow.
Fueled by accusations that Judge drew anatomically incorrect penises on her “Rape Awareness” bulletin board, Splinter gathers her RA(t) pack to foil Judge’s plan of drunken revelry (and awesomeness). Similar to the popular early-90s sitcom Full House, Splinter comes sniffing Judge’s dorm room unannounced and uninvited like Kimmy Gibbler at the Tanner house; and by the time security officers show up, Judge is made to feel like Joey Gladstone – which is clueless, without dignity, and having a man-crush on Uncle Jessie. Unfortunately for Judge, he’s not going to dismiss this situation with a “Cut. It. Out.”
Upon waking up the next morning, Judge shares a similar experience with anyone who’s been roofied, in that he forgets everything, wakes up fucked, and finds something unexpected a few days later. Though, it’s not a venereal disease or a positive pregnancy test he discovers, but a letter informing him of a judicial hearing concerning his “alcohol violations”.
As the seconds to his fated hearing tick away, Judge must either come up with a sweet alibi or transfer to a respectable community college. Upon realizing no community college is respectable, Judge knows his only option is the alibi…
With a room report that has his copious supply of beer cans tallied in scientific notation, Judge must decide whether to claim a Coors truck crashed through his wall or admit to hosting the party. But he doesn’t go down that easy…
…And, he doesn’t down on any guys, either. Will Judge escape the clutches of The Dean? Or will the Dean finger him? Was the phrase “finger him” used figuratively or literally in that last sentence? Find out in Every Dean Has Its Day.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.