Being a college student means that in all likelihood you’re broke. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, it just means that your fun is not going to be as glamorous as you would like.
You’re not going out to swanky whiskey bars where the cheapest drink is going to set you back $9-10. For spending that much money you could buy a pitcher of PBR at your campus dive bar. You don’t always buy the cereal you want at Safeway, but the one that happens to be up for the 2-for-1 deal.
When it comes to alcohol for the pad, everyone would love to buy top-shelf liquor, but that ain’t happening. Most of the times this means settling for Popov or Vitali. Taking a shot straight up of either of these two demons if painful to say the least. So let’s take a look at how to make the best of what you have.
Popov never tasted this good before.
A couple nights before you want to drink it up, pop open the top. Pour out some of the Popov and then fill the bottle up with Jolly Ranchers. Close up the top and then throw the bottle in the freezer for a couple days. You will be amazed how much of a difference this simple cost effective method makes. If you do it right and you have an above-average stomach, you won’t even need a chaser.
You can replace the Jolly Ranchers with Skittles if you’d like.
OMG You Have Grey Goose?
This method is going to take a one-time investment of buying a bottle of Grey Goose.
(Side note: Make sure to not have good alcohol lying around when there are girls around who you would rather not hang out with. Once they see free alcohol they will hone in on it like a pack of hyenas. I’ve seen many a good bottle go to a waste due to simple negligence.)
Once you get through that bottle, make sure not to send it to the recycling bin. No my friends, it still has some utility.
Take your vodka of choice and pass it through a Brita filter. You’re welcome to repeat this process as many times as you want. (There is much discussion whether or not this actually works, but hey, it doesn’t hurt to try it out.) When you’re done with that, pour the cheap stuff into the Grey Goose bottle. You should probably use a funnel unless you have a remarkably steady hand.
Girls judge alcohol by its cover. If you pull out a bottle of Grey Goose, they will be floored. There is no chance that they will be leaving your room anytime soon. And trust me, they won’t know the difference.
This one is the old jungle juice method. Here’s the basic idea behind it.
Take a big container: think of something along the lines of a large water holder you would see on the sidelines of a sporting event. Empty out the vodka in there and then throw in about four to five juice concentrates. Add in some ice, stir it up and you’re good to go.
There are plenty of variations. A favorite in my house that is referred to as “The Force” consists of one bottle of vodka, a 24-pack of Natural Light or Keystone Light and eight juice concentrates. Most people are shocked when they hear that there is beer in “The Force.” Ahh, the wonders of sugar.
Whatever you do, don’t get juice concentrates of the orange juice variety. People talk-up screwdrivers, but the truth of the matter is orange juice does a terrible job of masking the taste of alcohol.
About Mustafa Shaikh Mustafa Shaikh is an aspiring writer living in Berkeley, CA. Not willing to give up his college days just yet, he lives only a few blocks away from his beloved campus. He hopes to write a best-seller within the next couple of years and live off the royalties of it for as long as possible.