An Attraction Building Technique
When I first started going out on dates with girls I tried so damn hard to be agreeable. If a girl mentioned that she liked a certain band, or a movie, or book, I would search my mind for something positive to say about it. And if I mentioned I liked a certain restaurant or something, and it turned out she didn’t like it… I would immediately start back peddling and naming all the things that were actually wrong with it.
I’m even ashamed to say that I have bad-mouthed certain friends of mine just to get on a girl’s good side.
I’d hardly ever tell her how I really felt. That might make her think we were ‘incompatible.’ And I couldn’t have that. My goal was to get her think “we are so alike… this guy is perfect.”
And the sad part was…
It almost never worked.
As much as we shared similar interests, didn’t argue, had tons to talk about … I just couldn’t generate one ounce of attraction. That’s because as I later learned:
In fact, a girl doesn’t even have to like you to be attracted to you. (That is a whole other article) It is actually kind of odd and counter intuitive. But the more you disagree with a woman and assert your own opinion, the more attracted to you she becomes.
For awhile I couldn’t really figure out why this was. Then it hit me…
It plays into one of the five main attraction switches: Push/Pull. Every time you disagree with a woman you are in a sense ‘pushing her away.’ Now obviously, if all you did was continually disagree with a woman you would eventually push her so far away she wouldn’t come back…
If we look at disagreeing as ‘pushing her away’ then we have to look at agreeing with a woman as ‘pulling her towards you.’ My old strategy of blindly agreeing with a woman was like continuing to pull a girl towards me until finally she felt suffocated and ran for the hills.
As I discuss in detail in Amplify the Attraction the more uncertainty, intrigue, and drama a woman feels during an interaction, the more attraction she is likely to feel.
Disagreement sparks uncertainty. Disagreement sparks intrigue. And disagreement sparks drama.
A woman is used to a man who would sell his soul to be liked by her.
So when you come along and aren’t afraid to express your opinion, disagree with her, or call her on her bullshit, you’re not only differentiating yourself from all the other guys, but you are essentially saying “I’m not afraid to lose you.”
And human beings want things a whole lot more when we’re not sure we can have them.
If you want to learn more techniques that take advantage of this idea of push/pull then I recommend you check out my latest program at Amplify the Attraction.
In this program, I’ll teach you all five attraction switches and give you examples and ammunition that you can go out and use tonight.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.