How To Pick Up Waitresses and Bartenders
Most bar and restaurant managers are men, and so most waitresses and bartenders are women. If I owned a bar, every employee would be a curvy brunette. Male patrons at a bar or restaurant may flirt with the female staff, but deep down they perceive them as out-of-reach. This is the dynamic managers want to create. In most places, waitresses and bartenders are forbidden from giving their numbers out. Managers may say that this is to avoid drama and keep customers, but I think there’s also an element of possessiveness, where the manager wants to keep the girls to himself!
It’s very much a gorilla harem dynamic in bars and restaurants that employ attractive women. But I assure you, these women are attainable, if you know what you are doing (and most of them actually hate their managers because those guys are often creep old perverts that try to sleep with all their employees).
The first step is to get personal with your bartender or waitress. She’ll ask, “How are you this evening?” Say, “I’m great. How are you?” She’ll answer, and then try to get into server-mode by asking you what you want to order. Don’t let her do that yet. Ask her something relating to her, as a person. Ask, “How’s your day/night going? Do you work a lot?” If she says she is part time, ask her if she is a student or does something else. From there, be sure to have an ongoing conversation about you and her, but be sure not to take up too much of her time, as she is working.
I dated a girl who was a waitress (well I’ve dated a lot of them), but I got some great feedback from this one. She was an absolute 10 in looks and personality. She had a lot of guys after her. We had been apart for over a year, and she was working at a BBQ restaurant. I asked her if she ever gave her number out or dated her customers. She said she had dated one guy. I asked how he went from being a customer to being a date. She said he was a regular, and she just got to know him. I’m guessing that he also wasn’t “too regular.” If she thinks she’ll be seeing you all the time at work, she may be hesitant to date you, for fear of awkwardness at her job.
This is more related to bartenders, but can also apply to waitresses. Most bartenders have their own drinks that they concocted. These drinks aren’t on the menu, but often the wait staff will request these drinks for themselves once they get off. Ask the bartender if she has her own drink that she likes to make. I’ve never had one say they don’t have a special drink. Give it the test – keep her in limbo as you taste it. Then be sure to approve and appreciate her effort. Make sure you order this drink at least once every time you visit. Use it as a way for her to remember you, and strike up conversation on consecutive visits.
After three or four visits/conversations, tell her you’d like to see her outside of work. Be respectful though. “I know it’s forward but there’s totally no pressure. I’d love to see you when you’re not working. Can I take you for a late night snack after you get off work?” She most likely works at night, and gets off late. Although she may be tired, this is still the best time for your first date, because it’s logistically easy for her. The easier you can make logistics, the better. Remember not to treat it like it’s a big deal. Which brings me to the last point.
If you end up dating a bartender or waitress, be less regular to that venue. It’s fine to go in occasionally and let her sneak you free drinks, but never indicate that you and she are dating. Don’t tell the guy next to you that the bartender is your girlfriend, and definitely don’t do anything boyfriend-y around her manager.
If you can’t meet her and have to settle for a number, tell her to write it down on your receipt so her manager doesn’t see. Treat it like a spy game. It’s likely she’ll decline and ask for yours. That’s fine as well. I’ve had 50/50 success with this. One thing that seems to help is challenging her by saying, “Most girls are scared to call the guy first. If you’re different, I’ll give you my number.” Now if she doesn’t call you, she’ll feel like she’s acting like every other girl. This will motivate her to call you because woman want to think of themselves as confident and unique.
If there’s a hot bartender you like, don’t doubt that you can get her. Wear a smile, get to know her personally, make sure she remembers you, and discretely and respectfully ask her out. You won’t always be successful, but if you follow my advice, you will optimize your odds. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll avoid awkwardness, and she’ll respect how you went for what you wanted.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2017/11/23/how-to-fly-solo-any-bar-anywhere/
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About Vin DiCarlo Always a rebel with a unique point of view, Vin DiCarlo invented many of the most effective techniques out there, today. His students are some of the most successful and respected in the world. For more information, including how you can get more information - for free - Click Here to watch the Mind Reading Video.