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How to Fly Solo, Any Bar, Anywhere: 3 Steps to Going to a Bar Alone

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How to Fly Solo When Your Friend’s Bail

Picture this scene… it’s been a rough week. Your boss has been giving you shit all week about the most pointless things imaginable. Your rent has gone up in price, and your dog has contracted some weird type of worms where he keeps rubbing his butt on the floor.

Gross.

But, luckily for you, the weekend is here. You, my lucky friend, are going to hit the town with your buddies, go out to bars, get some drinks, and pick up some beautiful women and it’s going to make your week!

One problem crops up, all your friend’s bail.

One friend mentions he has to catch up on work, the other has family visiting from out of town and the next thing you know they are all dropping like flies with one bullshit excuse to another. You think your weekend is ruined.

There is no way you can go out by yourself. You need somebody to go with you, right?

Wrong!

This Article is going to tell you some of the amazing reasons why learning to go out and pick up women by yourself will not only improve your confidence but make you a better, stronger conversationalist.

This will truly put you out of your comfort zone to make you a stronger player.

Ready to level up?

The hardest part about going out by yourself

For many guys, the real challenge of going out solo is that you are scared. It’s ok, I get it.

Going out by yourself can initially feel a little daunting. Overthinking can make you worry about what might happen.

Honestly, your biggest fear is probably what people might think of you if you are by yourself. Man, you need to stop.

Overthinking is ruining your dating opportunities. You need to conquer that fear and realize that going out solo is one of the foundations of being a strong and confident man.

By being more confident, you will be fully capable of making sure you can have an amazing week all by yourself and not have to rely on others. It also takes you steps closer to being an alpha male.

This characteristic will follow you not just in your social circle but also in other aspects of your life, like work and family. At the same time, you’re also going to make a few friend along the way.

Step 1 – Fuck what people think

Once you shake this first step, you are going to be a social dynamite. However, if you can’t get through this first step, you will be like the kid at prom with no date.

When a lot of guys walk into a bar by themselves, you can tell they are uncomfortable. Let’s face it, if you aren’t comfortable being with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be?

Here are some tell-tale signs of what a nervous guy, who’s not comfortable by himself, might do at a bar:

  • He looks nervous
  • His hands are in his pockets or he is playing on his phone
  • He doesn’t smile or approach anyone, he just keeps to himself
  • His body language is closed

Why is he doing this? Because he is most likely overthinking or worrying about what people think of him.

Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you. Their thoughts don’t matter because they are absolute strangers.

Do exactly the opposite of all the above. Make yourself look approachable:

  • Smile
  • Make eye contact
  • Have open body language
  • Don’t be afraid to speak to people at the bar

Hell, talk to the bartender if they don’t look crazy busy. That is what bar tenders are there for, making drinks and conversations.

If they ask you why you’re alone don’t lie. Be honest.

Say you just wanted to have a drink and destress and none of your friends were available. Or that you did make plans with a friend but they couldn’t make it so you decided to make the best of your night.

How? By still going out and having a few drinks after a crazy week at work.

This will make you look more confident (even if you don’t feel it!)

People will think, “Wow, if I were him, I would have bailed too and went home and been miserable for not going out tonight.”

It is very VERY empowering to know that you are capable of executing your plans even if other people bailed.

Oh… and for god’s sake make sure you’re not on your phone.

Step 2 – Approach Groups of People and Win over the Guys

I don’t know if you’ve ever had this happen to you if you’ve been in a group, but I’ve seen it plenty of times. I’ve been with a group of friends, both guys and girls, and one of the girls from our group gets approached by a guy.

This guy is making her laugh, and they seem to be having a good time, and then one of the guys in our group gets defensive over ‘our lady’ and full alpha male style, goes and blows that poor dude out of the water.

Here’s where you’re going to be a master tactician. 

When you’re riding solo, nothing will kill your mojo faster than an alpha male train wrecking you out of a girl you’ve been talking to. When you approach a group, make friends with some guys or even better do it with some girls.

Tell a girl, you’re there to pick up some hot chicks and she can totally be your wingman. Tell a dude you’re coming out solo to pick up some ladies, how’s the action been in here tonight?

If you’re approaching a group, a great opener can be ‘Can I get your guys opinion on something?’
It doesn’t matter what you ask:

  • What’s the best beer on tap in here?
  • Which bars in town have the best atmosphere?
  • Who’s the old boot behind the bar scaring off the pretty ladies?

You get the idea… then get a conversation started from the opinions that come back at you.

Once you’ve got some buddies under your wing, you’re no longer solo on the night out and your friends will be regret ever having chosen to miss out on that night out with you.

Step 3 – Use Your New Found Wingmen to Make Your Night Special

Now you can have a little fun. None of these guys know anything about you, so get creative and make up some fun facts to make the night a little interesting.

Tell people you’re a disposal lighter repairman (credit to ‘The Game’) or that you come out solo because you go to random cities once a month as you’re cataloging the best nightlife in your country.

Use your wingmen to enjoy the night and make sure you stand out from the crowd, be the life of the party and show that you are the social center of the group. You want these guys to be going around and wanting to introduce women to you just because you have so much fun with it.

Tease the guys, tease the girls. Use the 5 false answers game to get the girls to buy you and your buddies drinks, and make the guys realize that you are the most fun guy in the room. Doing this is going to get you brand new wingman, every time you go out.

Before long, you’re not going to need to go out solo, but you’ll still want to ditch the wingmen anyway.

Because riding solo rocks!

About Jamie Atkinson

Jamie Atkinson is a freelance writer and sales coach who has over 10 years of experience coaching, selling and training in the field. He was born in the UK but now travels all over the world, teaching other aspiring entrepreneurs how to achieve their own success by sharing the benefits of having a lifestyle business. You can find out more from Jamie over at www.letsgetjobless.com

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