The Dating Paradox, Part 2
In the first part of ‘The Dating Paradox’ I talked about how I found that the more energy we seem to put into trying to attract women and people in general, the more counterproductive it seems to get. I realized that, perhaps, instead of ‘faking’ and trying to ‘come off’ as a high quality man, a guy worth dating, we should put all our efforts into becoming an actual high quality man.
Now here are my suggestions, the 3 pillars of becoming that man that effortlessly attracts, connects and inspires those around him, as would Adam Gilad describe it.
When we think about it, there is just so many things we wish we knew more about, so many skills we’d like to acquire. We need to stop wishing and act. Taking classes, reading books, having meaningful conversations with those around us.
Learning new things and being eager to learn automatically turns us into more interesting and interested human beings. And of course helps us never run out of things to talk about!
Here are the few questions I asked myself in order to end up with an entire list of exciting ideas:
-What is it that interests me already and how can I learn more about it?
-What have I always wanted to be able to do?
-What is it I’m curious about?
Accomplishments, big or small, fill us with pride, self-esteem, confidence and energy. As Tim Ferriss says in The Four Hour Body, ‘there is no way running a marathon can be good for your body, your muscles and articulations are simply not made to handle that much pressure. But when you cross that finish line, you ain’t the same man that started running hours ago.’ Admit it to yourself. There is a lot you wish to accomplish. Now is time to stop wishing and act.
Following Tim’s advices, I gained 19 pounds of muscle mass in … 30 days. That’s a 14% increase in body mass. I had never felt so good about myself.
I also did a 30 day no-sex diet. This wasn’t fun at all for my young perverted mind. However I committed to it, it made me grow in several unexpected ways and made me feel like a man.
Writing for TSB magazine is another example of something I had always wanted to do. Seeing my article big and shining on the site’s banner just makes me feel great. Commit to something and make it happen, that’s the secret.
Life is all about experiences. They are food for the soul.
Doing things we never did, or doing common things differently changes us! Not only is it exciting, it widens our horizons, help us think out of the box and deepens our understanding of life.
Whether it’s a fun or difficult experience, it is always worth it!
When I first sat down to list different new things I could experience, I was disappointed by how few I could think of. However by being constantly on the lookout, I see opportunities everywhere, the key is to jump on them!
Hanging out with people were not used to and watching different kinds of movies are conservative examples… I’ll let you come up with your own kinky ideas!
(For the record, for the last couple of nights I’ve been sleeping in different places around my house. Living room, kitchen, bathroom, etc… and I decided to keep doing that for 30 nights. COMPLETELY useless if you ask me, but it’s fun to wake up in different places every morning!)
Now when we think about it, those ”pillars” are really only 3 aspects of the same thing. It’s called LIVING. We need to quit our little lifes filled with distractions and routines and start living. I think you’ll agree that we benefit from all this and that there is nothing as attractive as someone who is truly living life fully.
Now I’m sure you have many ideas at the moment, please share them with us below! 🙂
About Olly G. Obsessive about understanding how people think and why they do what they do, Olivier started studying psychology and human relations in general. He believes writing is a beautiful way to synthesise information in order to get a deeper understanding of things and share it with others.