How to Escalate: The Pregnant Pause
This is your job as a man. Whether it be to initiate a conversation or go in for the kiss, it’s your job to lead it there, to take the interaction further – to escalate. We’ve already gone over the signals that she wants you to escalate and how it’s typically much sooner than you realize, but now it’s time to talk ‘what-to-do’.
There’s one thing that you have to do if you want to get sexy with this girl. Every other trick in the book won’t matter if you’re not doing this and this is often all you need. It’s so necessary and effective because it’s at the very root of escalation.
As we’ve discussed, escalation is, in a nutshell, you expressing your desire for a woman. She shows you those signs that she’s interested, and you express your interest so as to not inadvertently reject her. This desire from a man not only returns her interest, but it has the brilliant effect of turning her on as well.
So, how do you express this desire? Well, you get closer, you tell them they’re sexy, you say you want to take them out sometime, you do everything else you’ve ever heard about escalation from myself or elsewhere… but this is the necessary part:
At some point in your interaction, you must (MUST!) look at her, during a moment of silence, have a look on your face of utter desire, mixed with a little surprise that she suddenly caused it, and happiness because you don’t (typically) meet a woman that inspires it every day.
I like to call this a pregnant pause. If you’re never allowing room for silence because you’re filling them because you think you need to say something clever to get her to like you then that’s the reason your escalation is inconsistent – happening more by chance than by your direct actions.
If you’re afraid that you’ll come across as “creepy” or “weird” for “staring” at her. Note: if you’re looking at someone looks at you several times and you look back at them with a continually unchanging look on your face, or one that reflects selfish desire, or desire that one feels ashamed of or feels is “dirty” without recognizing the sexuality of the woman, then that’s creepy.
If she says something, and instead of trying to one-up her and win her over with your sense of humor you stop and look at her with a little surprise, and a smile that’s filling with your natural arousal caused by her action and not from some play in your head, you’ll remember that you did this naturally every time you ever successfully escalated whether you meant to or not, and you’ll be beyond pleasantly surprised by the reactions from the women you’re talking to.
There’s all sorts of fun things to say and do to flirt beyond that, and I look forward to writing about more of them… But if you’re not doing this, none of the rest of it will matter. If you start doing this… you may stop reading my articles altogether because you won’t need anything else.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2014/12/12/the-best-conversation-topics-to-quickly-escalate-sexual-tension/
Click Here to Watch Nick’s Becoming Fearless Video. Learn the six signs of fear that cause her female intuition to shut you out, and what to do instead.
About Nick Sparks Nick Sparks is a professional social and dating coach located in the New York area. His specialties include building genuine and lasting confidence, removing barriers of fear and self doubt in the face of women and social situations, and helping men gain self acceptance and power through unleashing of their sexuality. He's taught hundreds of clients to become genuinely confident, fearless and charming since 2008, and is known for his direct, highly sexual style of game Check out Sparks of Attraction.