When You Have a Girl Back at Your Place
Getting a girl back to your place is the dating equivalent to getting the ball into the red zone in football. You’re knocking on heaven’s door: so close to the awesomenesss, yet nothing is guaranteed.
You could still fumble here and lose it all. In dating, that means sending a girl running for the hills, never to be heard from again. And trust me—I definitely sent some girls running in my day.
Therefore, you don’t want to take those final moments for granted. Make sure you keep things progressing smoothly and non-awkwardly up until you’re both basking in the afterglow of a great lovemaking session.
Now this may seem like common sense, but often the temptation to begin clothing removal immediately overwhelms some guys’ better judgment. If you’ve ever battled LMR (Last Minute Resistance, for all you non-Game readers out there), it’s likely because you mistook her agreeing to come back your place to her agreeing to have sex with you.
Just because she comes back to your place doesn’t mean she’s 100-percent made up her mind to sleep with you. Moreover, if you treat her like she’s an adult film star who just stepped on the set for a hardcore scene, you’re going to make up her mind for her. And not in a good way.
Thus, when you let a girl into your place, give her some serious breathing room. I often excuse myself to go to the bathroom and invite her look around and make herself comfortable. If you’ve decorated your place with cool stuff, her attraction and intrigue about you should amplify.
Also, by not immediately molesting her the second she enters your place you demonstrate that you’re not sex-starved.
Therefore, even if you think you’re being “aggressive” or “dominant” by making a fast move, fight the temptation and give her some breathing room.
If I visited your apartment right now, and I asked to set it up as if you were expecting a girl to come home with you later that evening, would you be able to? Would you have a playlist ready to go? A lighting setting easy to set up? Condoms and drink mixers ready to go?
If you don’t have simple prerequisites like a playlist, seductive lighting, and accouterments for sex, then you’re simply not going to make girls feel sexy. And when girls aren’t feeling sexy, you’re not going to be having sex. Period.
I write it time again, but let say once more: Don’t mistake her for your buddies! Having your place set up super bright with fluorescent bulbs, no music, and a few stray Budweisers in the fridge simply won’t cut it.
Treat her like a hot girl and set your place up to make her comfortable. Use lamps—not overheard lighting—to light your room (bonus points if you can score a light dimmer). Have a seduction playlist on your iPod and ready to go (if you need help figuring out what should be on that playlist click HERE). And, of course, keep your place stocked with condoms and drinks.
Again, too many guys are all too eager to jump right into penetration. It’s almost as if they’re wearing those snap-away warm up pants and, once a girl enters their place, they feel the immediate need to be naked with 2.7 seconds.
And hence why so many guys complain about battling LMR.
Avoid triggering her “regret mechanism” altogether by giving her a sexual experience that is pleasing to her. It may come as a newsflash, but penetration is only a small part of sex for a woman. Most women prefer a long lead up with plenty of kissing and foreplay before you snap-off those warm up pants.
So, get comfortable kissing a woman. In fact, you should be enjoying it. I mean, what better activity do you have to do other than making out with a hot chick back at your place? Oh yeah, that’s right…NONE.
So, there are the basics for smoothing out those moments of final escalation when you have a girl back at your place. Simply keep these pointers in mind next time you have some lovely lady back at your bachelor pad and you’ll give her a sexual experience you’ll both enjoy—and will want to repeat.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.