5 Mistakes Guys Make When They Ask For A Girl’s Phone Number
Getting a woman’s phone number is an important step towards dating and/or intimacy. It is also something that many guys fumble with because they realize that it’s a make it or break it situation. After all, if you goof up and she won’t give you her number, then it is going to be pretty tough to get together with her later on. So in today’s article I’ll be looking at five common mistakes guys make when they ask for a girl’s number, and how to avoid them.
If you wait too long to ask for girls number it can get awkward when you finally get around to it. For instance, if there is a girl that you’ve seen around a bit and you’ve chatted with her a few times you might fall into the trap of telling yourself “oh, I’ll just ask for her number next time I see her”. Then, this drags out and by the time that you finally ask her she’s already mentally categorize you as a guy who nervously flirts with her and who she is not interested in dating. Generally speaking, women can tell when you are attracted to them and if they think you are into them but too scared to make a move that’s going to be a big turnoff. So as a rule you should ask for her number the first time you meet her so she’ll know right off that you are interested and have the guts to go for it.
Just as you don’t want to wait too long to ask a girl for her number, it is also important to take a couple of minutes to chat with her before attempting to get the digits. If you just walk up to a girl and say, “Yo babe, can I get your number?” She won’t have a good idea of who you are yet, and she won’t really have any reason to give it to you. As long as neither of you have any pressing engagements, there’s no reason to try to rush. Instead you should just keep hanging out with her and take her on what we call an “Insta–date”. Take her for a test drive, see how you like her then get the number if you think you want more later.
There are a lot of fancy number getting techniques. Special wordings you can use to supposedly improve the chances that a girl will give you her number. For instance here’s a well-known trick: start to walk away, and then turn back and say, “Hey before I go I should get your number…” Now a technique like this won’t necessarily get you rejected, but it’s just an unnecessary waste of time. What really makes these strategies a mistake is that by using them you are reinforcing the belief that you need some sneaky trick here. It’s a lot more empowering to believe that you can just ask for her number like a man. She’ll give it to you because she wants to, not because you tricked her.
Getting a woman’s e-mail address or Facebook is not nearly as solid as getting her phone number, and I have a really hard time understanding why a guy would ever do this on purpose. I think the idea is that it’s more low pressure. I mean, a chick would really have to dislike you not to give you her Facebook address. But again this is ass backwards thinking. If a woman doesn’t want to date you and doesn’t want to give you her phone number then why should you be wasting your time chatting with her on the Internet? It’s better to find out where you stand and move on from there. Plus, if she is interested then she’ll think it’s weird, and kind of wimpy of you to ask for these shitty second rate forms of contact information.
Most women are highly attuned to the subtle micro-expressions and other body language cues that you give off. So if your voice goes up an octave or two when you ask for her number and your face starts sweating she’ll pick up on the fact that you’re afraid. She might’ve been attracted to you a minute ago but as soon as she noticed these cues a little alarm bell inside her mind went off that said “not this guy…” And you’re screwed! This is why it is extremely important that you are learn to control how you are perceived by others during social interactions. It can take a little work but it makes all the difference in the world.
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About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.