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Why Isn’t She Responding to My Messages?

My Experimental Technique for Breaking Through the Wall

If you?ve ever tried meeting women online using any of the popular sites (, POF, etc), you?re probably familiar with this situation: you send 50 messages to various attractive women and get absolutely zero response. Zilch. Not only that, but many of the women won?t even view your profile. This is a common problem that virtually all guys express frustration over, and in fact it leads most guys to drop off online dating. It?s a definite wall and most guys crash into it.

I?ve got a technique I?ve been experimenting with that has shown promising results. Before I get into it, I?m making a couple of assumptions. The first assumption is that you have a good online profile and great pictures. The second assumption is that you?re a normal dude who has his sh*t together and can write a halfway decent email. The third assumption is that you’re not a creepy. Okay, with that out of the way, let?s get to it.

The problem: The major problem is that all attractive chicks on these platforms get HUNDREDS of emails, mostly from jackasses spitting lousy one-liners, but also from perfectly normal guys who write boring messages. It?s hard for women to sift through the chaff. They also experience “online dating fatigue” where they get tired of reading all the creepy messages and they end up not responding to anyone, even the cool guys.

New technique: What I’ll do is post the link to my Facebook profile right in the email. Sometimes I?ll post it in the subject line of the message, if the site allows subject lines. I want her to see the link front and center.

The reason I do this is threefold. I want her to see something unusual (a FB profile link), I want her to know I?m a real person, and I want her to be curious. This increases my chances of getting a response. My theory here is that chicks will AT LEAST check out my Facebook page out of curiosity. Also, my Facebook profile is pimped out and makes me look far more attractive than an online dating profile.

In the first message, I also write a brief paragraph that describes what I?m looking for (straightforward, rapport-building stuff) and then offer to exchange friend requests if she?s interested.

Again, I have to emphasize you need to have a terrific Facebook profile with an especially good main profile picture for this to work. Be sure to privatize anything you don?t want shown publicly, but have enough public info to entice further communication. The goal is to get her to respond to your message.

Give it a shot and see how it works for you.

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About Lance Lance is a tech geek by day, social artist and fitness enthusiast by night. He specializes in relationships in real life situations, such as workplace and in business, and his goal is to create high value social circles filled with opportunity. For more on his dating and relationship perspective, check out his blog

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