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Top Five Movies of Emmy Rossum

More than a few things make the office a little more awkward, but these three top the list. Taking a leisurely piss at the urinal when the boss sidles up to the one right next to you and starts asking about a project. Leaving just enough coffee in the pot so that it doesn’t evaporate and cover the bottom of the pot in black good, but leaving half a cup of burnt tar. Attending office birthday parties.

The office birthday party means there’s the awkward handing out of birthday cake where skinny people protest about pieces too big and the people that skipped lunch eagerly accept a third piece before everyone has one. There’s wondering how long you have to stay before you get back to work or conversely wondering how long you can prolong your stay before you have to go back to work. Then comes the singing of “Happy Birthday to You” which is barely tolerable when sung by people who can sing and an offense to the heavens when sung under the flickering office fluorescents.

So, if I may name drop and segue into a job drop about one of the perks of living in Los Angeles, it was interesting to see a birthday celebration for Emmy Rossum as I worked as a background extra. It felt just as awkward amid sets and talented singers as it was amid cubicles and croaking accountants. The one thing that was different was the unbridled joy that Emmy showed at getting a cake that I had never seen at 2 pm in an office as lunch sat hard or not at all in the stomachs of co-workers.

So, to celebrate that joy I remember, here are the five movies starring Emmy that would bring me the most joy, which a musical starring Gerard Butler never could, no matter how good.

5. Passionada

If you get a chance, comedian Bill Burr has three specials that you can stream on Netflix and all three made me laugh out loud more than once. Burr plays a blackjack player in this movie, and like his appearance as a driver in “Breaking Bad,” I can’t wait to see how he does away from the stand-up mike.

4. Dare

It’s Emmy and Rooney Mara. I’m sold.

3. The Day After Tomorrow

Just seeing the IMDB description, “Jack Hall, paleoclimatologist for NORAD, must make a daring trek across America to reach his son, trapped in the cross-hairs of a sudden international storm which plunges the planet into a new Ice Age,” makes me chuckle. I can’t wait for the adventure with the paleoeconomist that will come when the next great tulip crash finally comes to the screen.

2. Poseidon

I must have a soft spot for huge disaster movies. That really can be the only explanation for numbers two and three, unless it is the chance to see Black Eyed Pea Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson chew a little scenery.

1. Dragonball: Evolution

I can see it now, a double feature of “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” and this movie. Do I expect good? No. Do I expect beauty? With Emmy and Lucy Liu, sure. With former Buffy star James Marsters and former Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson, I also expect a little fun.

Agree? Disagree? Which movies would make your Emmy Rossum top five?

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About Jason McClain Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By "a lot of time", Jason means "procrastination."

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