How To Avoid Being Identified As A Player
I liked Natasha’s post about pickup techniques that all women know about, and I wanted to wade in with my two cents.
She’s right, women are savvy about old school pickup tricks like negging and cold reads. In fact, generally speaking, chicks have such highly attuned bullshit detecters that if you even remotely come across as a player, you’re history. I call this “player fatique,” as in all the chicks I met the bar last night had player fatigue. They are hit on constantly by wanna-be players and they’re able to tune it out.
What I do these days is a bit counter intuitive, but it works great. I act like a normal dude. I dress well, I articulate well, I engage in conversation, and I pretty much don’t throw game around. I call this using anti-game. I just act normal and conversational and I easily get closes. The reason is most players project themselves as shady characters and girls don’t want shady characters, unless they themselves are shady. They want successful, attractive men, and I act like that guy. I tell interesting stories and act charismatic.
What works really well is that I drop hints that I’m successful in life but I don’t go overboard with it. I want them to discover it. I want them curious at all times until I close the deal. I never act ostentatious.
Once I’ve engaged and got her attention, I can use whatever technique or frame the conversation however I want. I can cold read and it works fine, because I’m keeping it light and fun. I tease constantly. It all works once the foundation is there.
Also, don’t be negging chicks. You can and should tease and joke around with girls, but do it in a way that you’re close to being equals. Don’t neg as a putdown. Keep it light and fun. When you tell a hot chick she has big hands, you’re gonna get smacked. That’s a terrible line.
If you’re looking for unique openers or pickup techniques that women don’t know about, those are out there also. Spend an hour reading any PUA message board or website and you’ll find plenty of cutting edge material. Like anything else, the old material has to make way for the new. I like to have a toolkit with multiple techniques, some old, some new, and some original stuff, and I use whatever my gut tells me to use at that moment. Or I don’t use anything at all.
If everyone is acting like a player and spitting game, do the opposite. Act like a normal guy. Don’t use game. Project that you’re a charismatic dude. Charismas, quiet confidence, and a projection of success and security never go out of style. I call this social artistry, which sounds a lot nicer than pickup artist.
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About Lance Lance is a tech geek by day, social artist and fitness enthusiast by night. He specializes in relationships in real life situations, such as workplace and in business, and his goal is to create high value social circles filled with opportunity. For more on his dating and relationship perspective, check out his blog honeyandlance.com