What Killed Your Last Date
If you can get a date, you can get the girl. If that’s not your motto, you’re not playing with a full deck. Every guy should be showing up to dates with the mentality: the more time she spends in front of me, that more she’s going to love me!
Yet, most guys show up to dates with a mentality shared by death row inmates being sent to the electric chair. They’re afraid, they’re nervous, they’re trying rather than just being.
And guess what: that’s what killing your dates.
When guys ask me for advice on “what to do on a date,” there’s plenty of advice I can give them. I can tell them how to structure a date, what topics to bring, how to transition things to a physical level, hell—I can even tell a guy what food he should cook his date!
Yet all that advice is meaningless if a guy doesn’t believe that he’s worthy of the girl in front of him. As I like to describe it, most guys go on dates on “the back foot.” In other words, they’re waiting to react to whatever a woman says or does. Rather than step up and order a round of drinks or an appetizer, they defer to a woman, which sounds like, “What do you like?” or worse, “Is this okay?”
Guess what: if a girl doesn’t like something, she’ll let you know. And guess what else: if you quiver in front of her and make sure she “approves” of everything before making a decision, she’s going to let you know that she doesn’t like YOU!
The only way she’s going to see your personality is when you’re on the “front foot.” The venue you choose, the food or drinks you order, and all the other decisions you make paints a picture of the real you. Guys will hide behind the veneer of “being polite” when in actuality they’re scarred to display who they really are.
If don’t want your next date to fizzle, remind yourself of the “golden mindset”: the more time she spends in front of me, the more attracted she’s going to get. Don’t rush. Don’t feel obligated to talk too much, to fill in awkward silences, or do anything other than let your personality shine.
When you fully embrace this mindset, everything flows. You stop walking on eggshells. You stop second-guessing everything you do and say. You stop acting like every other guy and instead act like the man you want to be.
It’s only fair to both you and the girl you’re on a date with that you give her the experience she wants. She doesn’t want to feel “comfortable” or sign off on every decision. She wants to let herself go to a confident, dominant man who also respects her.
Therefore, you don’t have to be Mr. Macho and get combative if she disagrees with you or challenges something you suggest. But you do, however, want to assert your personality in the most attractive way possible.
So remember the golden mindset.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob Judge Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in Scottsdate. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. Get Coaching with Rob: https://www.tsbmag.com/private-coaching-with-rob-judge/