How to Ask Her on a Date
Even if she’s interested in you, you can easily mess up your chances when you get to that last step of actually asking her out. Here are some ground rules for asking a woman on a date.
You may be aware of the rule that you should call her to ask her on a date. No texting, no Facebook messaging, instead you’re meant to pick up the phone and endure an awkward conversation. Throw this rule out, I say! If you’re not the calling type, send her a text instead. The drawback is you won’t get an immediate reply, and maybe she will judge you for not calling. That “maybe” may not be worth fighting your fear of the phone call for. Besides, she may be nervous about talking to you on the phone and might appreciate a softer approach. The new rule should be; communicate with her however you usually do, or if you don’t talk to her often enough to have a ‘usual’ means of communication, however you’re most comfortable. If you normally talk through text messages, there’s nothing wrong with asking her out via text.
If you’re too tentative, she won’t be interested. She’ll either think that you’re not super keen on her, or she’ll decide she wants someone more assertive. Some guys try to phrase it so they don’t lose face if she says no. Such an approach is misguided. You will still be mildly embarrassed if she rejects you, and you’ll reduce your chances of getting a yes. Similarly, don’t ask her if she’s free; ask her if she’s keen. Compare “If you’re free on Friday night do you want to maybe do something?” with “If you would like, I’d love to take you out on the weekend”. This way if she says no, you will know for sure that it’s because she’s not interested, rather than being busy that night.
You don’t want to go too far the other way, and be too insistent on taking her on a date. You’ll make her feel uncomfortable by being too pushy- so you’re more likely to get rejected. A clued in type of girl will realise that if you’re pushy about just going on a date, you’re going to be pushy in other ways, and she won’t want to subject herself to that.
Do not ask a woman out and then expect her to come up with where you’re going, when you’re going and how you’re getting there. At least have a half-baked plan. A shell of a plan is better than no plan. Have an idea of what you’re doing and where it is. There’s no use her accepting your offer of a date, and then not following through because you haven’t a clue what to do. If you can think of a novel first date, that’s fantastic, but it’s also fine to tell her that there’s this great little bar you know of that you think she’d like. Also, if she doesn’t like your suggestion, don’t get huffy. Be flexible with your plan. Particularly if it’s something like, you want to pick her up but she would rather meet there. It’s not you; it’s her trying to keep herself safe. Basically, you need a plan, but it can’t be too rigid.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/