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When She Befriends Your Mother

You reluctantly introduced your new girlfriend to your parents, only for her to become instant best friends with your mom. Your new girlfriend having too good a relationship with your mom can cripple a relationship in its early stages, and it will make your life hell if you try to end the relationship.

Why it?s a warning sign

It would be great for her to be on friendly terms with your mom, if only you were in a serious relationship. Her being too keen to be best buddies with your closest family is a sign that she is clingy and wants to move your relationship faster. There is nothing wrong with her being polite and even chatty to your mom. However, in the early stages of a relationship, that is where it should end. She should not have your mom?s phone number, or be catching up with her one-on-one. This is an indication that your girlfriend is going to hang onto you whether you like it or not. She is trying to take root in areas of your life which she should not yet be in. You should be especially worried if she also becomes close friends with your friends or starts taking an interest in your hobbies. Encourage her to pursue her own identity, and if that does not work, it may be best to cut ties before she is too embedded in your life.

An obstacle to breaking up

Her having an excellent relationship with your mother will make it difficult for you to break up. Your mom will badger you about why you let such a lovely girl go. In the worst case scenario, your girlfriend will continue to talk to your mom even when your relationship has ended. This is likely to be a deliberate move to make it difficult for you to move on.

Age gap

If you have a penchant for dating older women, it is possible that the age gap means your latest girlfriend has more in common with your mom than she does with you. This would be quite an odd situation, but it is unlikely to mean that she is purposely getting close to your mom so you cannot remove her from your life. Older women are usually much more relaxed about relationships. Be glad that you helped your mom make a new friend, rather than worry about the situation.

When she only means well

When a woman befriends your mom too soon, it is usually a huge red flag. But there are some circumstances in which it is entirely forgivable. If it is your girlfriend?s first ever relationship, she may have a skewed idea of what is normal. She may think that she is only doing what she is meant to do. In this case, have a chat with your girlfriend. Tell her that you appreciate her effort in creating a friendship with your mom, but she needs to slow down. It may also be worth having a chat to your mom to let her know that you?re uncomfortable with the situation.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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