3 Toxic Mistakes That Lead to the Friend Zone
If you constantly get the friend zone speech then you must watch this video. In this video, Rob Judge and Bobby Rio discuss 3 common mistakes that lead to the friend zone.
When you make the mistakes in this video, more often than not, the girl you like will see you as a “nice guy” and immediately place you in the friend zone.
The program http://www.unlockherlegs.com/go/now explains how to not only avoid the friend zone, but how to get out of the friend zone for good.
These mistakes Rob Judge and Bobby Rio talk about in this include things like displaying too much interest, too soon, being too available, and making the all time “nice guy” mistake of sending a girl flowers to her work.
These mistakes ultimately lead to the “lets just be friends” speech because you’re no longer a mystery to a girl. And as Bobby and Rob say “once a girl knows she has you, it’s over, and you’ll never have her.
Because of this, Rob and Bobby invented a simple little mind game called “The Scrambler” that will have a girl become completely attracted to you, and want to become your girlfriend.
Bobby: Hey guys I’m Bobby Rio, this is Rob Judge. In this short video today we just wanted to go over 3 toxic mistakes guys make when it comes to girls that they’re really interested in and they want to maybe make their girlfriend or take it to the next level with.
I think both Rob and I, we both grew up in the 80’s, we grew up on the John Cusack movies, and I think the movie Say Anything did more damage to my love life than anything because there was a scene in that movie where he is standing outside, I don’t know if you saw the movie.
Rob: Oh I know exactly what you’re talking about yeah.
Bobby: He is standing outside with the boombox blasting In Your Eyes and that to me growing up was the epitome for that’s how you get the girl. There was other movies.
There was the movie Can’t Hardly Wait, where he writes her this love poem, and she finally finds it at the end of the movie, and she runs to him at the train station, and I think a lot of guys even if they don’t consciously believe it they still have this, they hold on to this thing, like once she knows, I just have to let her know.
Rob: Yeah it’s like the grandiose gesture, it’s, they think they’re a character in the movie, and they think they’re going to do this grand gesture, and it’s going to make the climax, and she is suddenly going to be like yes this is the guy I have had feelings for the whole time.
Whereas if you understand anything about female psychology or female attraction, it’s more, it’s a way more gradual thing, and it involves factors that are beyond one grand move that is suddenly going to make her realize that yes this is the guy.
Bobby: So 3 of the things that we consider the 3 most biggest toxic mistakes, and the first one is sending a girl flowers at work. Now if you want a girls vagina to instantly dry up send her flowers at work.
Rob: It’s probably the #1 worst thing you can do. Some girls actually enjoy it, but not enjoy it for like a good reason, they enjoy it because they like the attention that it brings in their office, but that attention is not going to be good for you.
She is going to realize that she has you wrapped around her finger, that you’re a total chum for her. She is going to lose respect for you because you’re scrambling to send these flowers at her work. On the other side of the spectrum and this is probably more common is she gets really really creeped out.
Bobby: Yeah I have sent flowers to 3 girls work and all of their vaginas instantly dried up and I never got back in. I think just reiterate one last thing on what you said I think that the final thing on it is not only does it transmute this creepiness and too much interest and all these other things, but it’s also just so cliché. It’s almost unimaginative as well.
On top of being like too forward and doing something that is just boosting her ego but not really doing anything to attract her, you’re also doing it in a cliché way. it’s not even original. If you’re thinking about doing it don’t.
I let somebody talk me into it, I done it twice and it didn’t work, and a third time I remember sitting with my friend going I’m going to buy her, I have to show her that I like her, and then she will … I was sitting there ordering the flowers and I‘m like should I do it and he gave me the nod, he’s like do it. I could go back now and I could strangle him. So the second big mistake ….
Rob: That’s like a friend, just to go back, that’s like a friend just allowing a friend to drive drunk, this is not cool. It is not a cool move. If your friend wants to send a girl flowers too, step in, be like don’t do it, direct him to this video. Do something but somehow talk him out of it because it’s not going to end well.
Bobby: The second toxic mistake, and it goes along with the sending the flowers to work, but it’s confessing your feelings too soon in a verbal manner.
This is when you, and I can remember a date I was on with this girl, and I met her on Match.com, and it was the first really good date off of Match that I had gone on in a while. She was just adorable, she says she was a model, but I don’t know. She was cute and we were hanging out, and I was just having such a good time with her, and even though at this point I had known a lot of this stuff, but I still heard myself bubbling over like they are so cute, I haven’t had a date like this in so long. At the time I had a few drinks in me too. I’m saying this and I’m thinking she must, one of the things is we transfer what we’re feeling onto somebody else, and in my mind I‘m thinking this is the best date I have ever had, and I’m thinking she’s feeling the same way because she was having a good time.
Just because you’re thinking wow we have such a connection you can’t let your guard down.
Rob: You can’t. I know. I cannot agree more. It’s like the siren call, it’s the sirens, oh the siren song, I want to tell her how I feel, because I’m just so enjoying the moment. Enjoy the moment and let it be a private moment, don’t make it a public moment that you’re going to confess to her too, because then it’s not going to end well.
Bobby: Yeah I will fast forward that date. About 4 days later I emailed her because on the date we were talking about playing tennis together, and I emailed her like so when we going to play the tennis date. I didn’t hear back from her.
You had just brought up a point earlier, you do have to express a sexual interest, it’s not a matter of not complementing her.
Rob: Yeah that’s the thing. I’m a big complementer, I’m big into complementing girls, I think that a girl looks great, I’m going to let her know. If a girl says something funny, I’m going to let her know. If a girl says something interesting I’m going to let her know. I have no problem at all complementing a girl, telling her I’m enjoying an aspect of her personality, or the way she looks, or any aspect of her, that’s fine.
The thing is you want to make sure she understands that you’re just a guy who is confident enough to tell another person when they are doing well. If I have a waiter that is doing a great job I’m going to tell that waiter, hey man great way dude thank you you were awesome. You want to project that onto everyone, not just her.
Ideally that is just a great way to be. It’s just a cool way to live your life. On top of that, if you’re complementing her, we’re not saying don’t complement girls, we’re not saying be a jerk.
Bobby: A simple way to think of it is, she can know you want to bang her, but she can’t know you want to be her boyfriend. She can’t know that early on.
That’s like think of it like this, you being her boyfriend, that is your trump card. That is what you keep in your pocket as long as you possibly can. That’s what she doesn’t know if she can have. She knows oh of course this guy probably wants to sleep with me, but she doesn’t know if you want to be her boyfriend. The longer you keep that in your pocket, the more she is working to win you over, and that is the footing you want to be on.
Rob: I love that. I hope 1,000 years from now people will attribute that quote to you. Like they now quote Confucius because that is such a great quote.
Just to reiterate again, she can know you want to bang her, but she should not know that you want to be her boyfriend. Even if you do want to be her boyfriend.
Bobby: The final toxic mistake we wanted to talk about today was being too available. This one is one of those ones that, like confessing your feelings because you feel it and you assume she feels it.
I always say your emotions is like a dickless virgin whispering in your ear. What you’re feeling is always going to be the wrong advice. If you’re feeling like man I want to spend every moment with her. That is the virgin that kept you from getting laid your whole life because it’s that mentality of it.
Rob: Oh my God. The dickless virgin has cockblocked me on more occasions then I would like to admit, but absolutely, and it goes beyond just being available in a sense of going on dates, but texting too much, responding to her texts instantly.
We have done interviews with women before where they have said, if a guy texts me back within 2 minutes of me sending a text I know he’s sitting by his phone waiting for me to text.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is put your phone on silent, put it in your back pocket, and forget about her. Live your life. Ideally girls don’t want to be the focal point of your life. They want you to have a cool interesting life, that you’re out doing stuff, you have friends, you have a career that your passionate about, even if you don’t, you have something in your life that your passionate about. That she is not the only thing that your sitting around waiting to happen. Make yourself a little unavailable and not in an artificial sense.
Ideally you are doing this in a genuine way, where you just put your priorities, your life, above a girl that you might have gone on a couple of dates with and you don’t really know that well.
Bobby: Women need something to compete against. Whether it’s your job, your passion for going to music events, whatever your passion is, they want to tear you away from it. The odd thing is they want to tear you away from it, but the minute they do tear you away from it, it’s like oh that was easy I’m bored move on.
Just to kind of set you in the right direction, what Rob and I realized, was that it’s very easy to say don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this. When you’re with a girl it’s not so easy to actually go well what do I do then. We put together a video for you and you can click the link below and we’re going to walk you through something we call the Scrambler. This will make sure that she’s the one confessing her feelings to you, she’s the one always available to hang out.
Rob: She is making all the mistakes in this video.
Bobby: She is showing up at your house with a tray of cookies, because she thinks it’s going to impress you. Watch the video below and leave a comment and let us know what you think.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.