Bar pick-up techniques that women hate
You may think you are being suave with an armoury of techniques to talk to women in bars, but some of your techniques may not be all that appealing to women.
Hitting on her friend first
No woman wants to be your second choice. Especially if you are not exactly a ten out of ten yourself, she will be most unimpressed when you try to flirt with her after being knocked back by her friend. Being rejected makes you less desirable. Flirting with her after you have just tried it on with her friend makes you look sleazy, whether you were rejected or not.
Some guys seem to do this on purpose. They hit on the less attractive girl in order to have a chance with her more attractive friend. They may also see it as a backup plan- you hit on the less attractive woman, try to move onto her friend, but revert back to the original girl if your plan fails. This does not work. You will end up with neither of them.
Pick one women to approach. If she rejects you, then try again with someone else who is not friends with her, and who did not see the rejection happen.
People-watching other women
You may think that it is really sexy to talk about other women at the bar, when you are trying to chat up a woman. You are making it clear that you have one thing in mind, and you may think it will get her excited as well. Pointing out other women that you find attractive is, in a way, insulting to the woman you are trying to chat up. You should be giving her attention. A self-confident woman is unlikely to stand for you lusting over everyone else. If she is really into you, she may play along in order to seem cool. She will feel bad, and will be less inclined to go home with you or swap numbers. This technique only decreases your chances. It drives away women who are interested in you, and it will never impress women who are not interested as they will think you are shallow as well as unattractive.
Sticking to your script
You may need a few scripted conversation-starters up your sleeve in order to feel comfortable chatting up women. That is fine, provided you are not ripping your lines straight out of a well-known source. It becomes a problem when you are unable to respond to her in the conversation. You are sticking to your script, and not really listening to what she says. This shows to her that you are not really interested in her as a person. It will appear to her as if you are not engaged with the conversation. If she picks up on the fact that you are sticking to a planned conversation, she will think you see her as just someone to practice your lines on. Sticking to a script also betrays the fact that you do not know what you are doing.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/