Mistakes every guy makes in his first relationship
Well done! You got your first girlfriend. Your first serious relationship is going to be a learning experience. You will discover how to manage conflict, how to consider another person’s feelings, and how to go on fun dates. There are also some lessons that you do not have to learn firsthand; be aware of these common mistakes made in first relationships so you can try to avoid making them yourself.
Planning too long-term
You are in the blissful stages of a new relationship. Everything feels perfect. You think that the time is ripe to make some serious, long-term decisions about your future together. Without any experience behind you, you may not realise that this stage will not last forever. In the first few months, you bond over insignificant things (“you like cake? I like cake too!”), and you may not discover ways in which your life goals conflict. It is crucial not to rush the first six months of a relationship. You should not be discussing moving in together or planning international travel long in advance. You especially should not be talking marriage or kids; there is so much time for this to happen later. Making your relationship too serious prematurely will have you both feeling trapped. Also, because you have not been together for long, you do not want to maximise the amount of challenges to your relationship. If you decide to live together after a few months of dating, the difficulties of managing a house could well be too much strain on your relationship. Enjoy the loved-up early stages of your relationship, and resist the urge to talk about commitment.
Every fight is a break-up
Couples fight. Having not been in a relationship before, you may think that fighting is a serious indicator that something is wrong. Every fight, no matter how small, then descends into a discussion about whether or not you should be together. Know that you will have disagreements, and that you are not incompatible with each other just because you can’t agree on which movie to see.
Holding on no matter what
You also need to be careful not to avoid the opposite problem, of being too terrified to break up even when it needs to happen. In your first relationship, you may think that no future relationship will ever match its intensity. You may even think that nobody will understand you like your girlfriend. Rest assured that your first relationship is unlikely to be your only relationship. Particularly in the early stages of a relationship, you do not want to work through an unforgivable issue such as cheating. You will know when it is time to let go; listen to your gut feeling rather than your anxieties about never finding another amazing relationship.
Comparing to others
Every relationship is different. Even those who have plenty of experience have a steep learning curve with each new partner. Comparing your relationship to those of your friends is not useful because your relationship has a different dynamic. Also, your girlfriend is not exactly the same as your buddy’s girlfriend; just because his girlfriend hates flowers does not mean yours will. Take the time to learn about your girlfriend’s preferences as a person, rather than assuming she will be same as any other woman.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2011/08/19/relationship-after-sex-how-to-do-it/
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/