Bad compliments to avoid
Compliments are one of the best tools in your flirting arsenal. Every girl loves to be flattered, and she will remember and treasure what you say if it is a good compliment. However, if it is a lacklustre or even insulting comment disguised as a compliment, she will feel bored or offended rather than excited.
The obvious compliment
Every glasses wearing woman has been complimented on her glasses hundreds of times. Every curly haired woman has received countless comments about her beautiful hair. When you give a compliment on something too obvious, she won’t have a desirable response to it. She will not get that excited feeling; at best she’ll have feel no response whatsoever. Even if she graciously accepts your compliment, on the inside, she is rolling her eyes at you.
“Wow, you sure eat a lot!”
I can only hope that every guy who says this is attempting negging. If you say this line on a date, you can bet that she will be over-analysing what you meant later, while crying into her ice cream. Whether she is fat, skinny or somewhere in between, she does not want you to comment on her eating prowess.
“That’s a flattering dress”
Calling her outfit “flattering” is not a compliment. She is going to interpret your words to mean “that dress hides your giant thighs well”. You need to choose your words carefully when it comes to appearance and outfit compliments; you may mean something nice, but she thinks it is a barbed comment.
“I like the gap in your teeth”
She may have a cute quirk, but you should not comment on it unless you have a close relationship. She is likely to be insecure about her gappy teeth or her mole, and drawing attention to it will only serve to make her feel embarrassed. She has also received comments on her imperfection many times before, so it would not even be an original compliment.
“You would be so pretty if…”
Suggesting a way to improve herself is not a compliment. Telling her that she would look amazing with a tan is not helpful, and will make her pull away from you.
Tread carefully, as sometimes your innocent compliment can also imply a way of improving herself. For example, bigger women are used to being told that they have a nice face and it’s a shame about the body, or would be a 10 if they lost weight. Telling an overweight woman that she has a nice face carries all the connotations of previous comments she has received.
The exception to the rule
Complimenting her for standing out from her demographic is actually quite insulting. Comments like “you’re hot for a smart girl”, “you’re pretty for an Asian girl” and “you’re cooler than other girls I’ve dated” are offensive. The compliment to her personally does not count if it is at the expense of affronting her group. Comments about how she is a credit to her race, or not like others of her race, are particularly bad because she has probably heard such offensive comments many times before.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
We respect your email privacy
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/