Understanding Transactional Sex
You may have heard of this. Thousands of young, attractive women do it as a means of supporting themselves. Transactional sex has become something of a craze lately. But the nature of the exchange remains the same as it was when our species went from scattered hunter-gatherers to more organized Big Man societies: it still involves the giving of sexual favors in exchange for gifts, money, and other material support.
What has made it such a hot topic of online conversation in recent years is the fact that so many middle-class and upper middle-class women are in transactional relationships. It has become a thing especially on college campuses. Many young sexy women are willing to attach themselves to older men who in exchange for continual on-demand girlfriend experiences (GFE) put them up in nice apartments, buy them cars, pay their bills, and give them expensive gifts. The upshot for both is that there is no commitment. The women are free to date whomever they want, and the men tend to be married.
Most people would call this high-class prostitution. However, the name transactional sex gives the exchange a cleaner, more sterile, more innocuous sound. But is it any better than what a street walker does? And could you bring yourself to date someone in a transactional relationship?
We should answer the last question first. A girl—a college girl especially—who is in a transactional relationship is not likely to broadcast it. In fact, she will want to live as normal as life as she can—with parties, friends, and boyfriends. If you meet a girl you like who is having transactional sex, she will not divulge this fact straightaway. She will wait to see if you are someone she can have a relationship with. Why? Because most girls in transactional relationships don’t sleep around. Their sex life is too complex and demanding to do so.
It may be impossible for you to date a girl knowing that another man can have her whenever he wants. However, if you decide to stay with her do so with eyes wide open. Some girls in transactional relationships develop genuine affection and even love for the men they go with. You should confront your crush with this prospect straightaway. You must ensure that you are not being used to make her sugar daddy jealous. Know also that she is unlikely to end the relationship unless you are willing and able to finance the lifestyle she’s used to.
Given this fact, is it right to view transactional sex as no better than streetwalking? I say yes—transactional sex is a form of prostitution. It is no better than what the street walker does, but it is very different. Social class is what most separates the two. A girl in a transactional relationship is less likely to be abused, exploited, and made ill by her experiences. She doesn’t go with dozens or hundreds of men; she sticks to one who wines, dines, and spoils her. This makes transactional sex safer and, perhaps, more acceptable than the other forms of prostitution.
As I said, more and more middle-class girls are getting themselves sugar daddies. You might just meet one of them. You should be prepared if you do.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.