Online Dating For Older Men: A Walkthrough Guide
Online dating isn’t just for millennials.
Older folks were meeting online way before Tinder made it cool to do so, and there are still tons who have thriving dating lives thanks to the internet.
Now is arguably the best time for older guys to be online dating.
A decade ago, beautiful women wouldn’t touch online dating websites with a bargepole, but now the likes of Tinder and Bumble are rife with hotties.
What’s more, you no longer have to guess whether they’re hotties who are into older gentlemen. Most dating websites now have age filters and ‘matching’ systems before the communication phase. If she matches with you, she’s into older dudes.
However, it will take a bit of work before you get an archive of babes waiting to meet you.
You first need to be au fait with what makes a fantastic dating profile and how to message the woman you match with.
Follow these steps if you fancy scoring a hot date from the comfort of your own home.
To find the most suitable dating website, you must first consider your end-goal.
If you’re after a hook-up or casual relationship, then free apps like OkCupid, Bumble or Tinder should work just fine (although the latter is pretty useless these days unless you pay to upgrade to Tinder Plus).
Those who are after a serious relationship might prefer paid-for sites such as Match or eHarmony. The advantage to these websites is that you comes across less of the time-wasters who are just swiping their phones for fun or an ego boost. The women you speak to have paid for a subscription, so you’d assume the majority of them are serious about meeting and building a relationship with the right man. The disadvantage is you’ll find less young, free live-for-the-moment types.
There are also hundreds of niche dating sites out there for people who want a very particular type of partner. Whether you’re after a vegan, a woman who wears uniform, or a ‘sugar baby’ to throw thousands of dollars at, there’s a specific website for you to find them.
By the time you reach your 40s, you should hopefully have built an exciting, successful life that a woman would want to be part of. This is your main advantage over younger guys.
Your profile is your chance to showcase this advantage, so don’t blow it.
Pictures are worth a thousand words when you’re online dating, so make sure yours demonstrate an active, hobby-filled life.
You’re trying to stand out among thousands of other suitors, so think about what makes you unique and capture that. Make sure your best photo is listed first – it should a solo shot where your face is clearly visible. If you’re serious about finding a partner online, pay for professional photos.
When filling out your profile, consider what makes you a catch. List these among the hobbies you enjoy and one tongue-in-cheek ‘fun fact’ that acts as a conversation-starter and makes you stand out.
Avoid negativity and any facts that might turn her off before you get the chance to charm her. She can discover your love for hunting, hard drugs or Donald Trump once you’ve won her over.
The biggest obstacle to online dating success was perfectly summed up by OkCupid founder Christian Rudder.
This is the fact that most women are overwhelmed with messages and find themselves without the time or motivation to reply to the majority of them. Frustrated by the lack of responses, men put less effort into their opening messages, instead adopting a copy-and paste approach. These unoriginal openers fuel women’s apathy even further and the whole game turns into a useless cycle where no-one meets for a date.
Sadly, there’s nothing you can do to delete the hundreds of guys you’re likely to be competing with. No matter how hilariously on point your opener is, there’s a high chance of it being lost among the rest. Online dating will always be a numbers game. Having said that, writing ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ to thousands of women and hoping for the best probably won’t work either.
Your best strategy might be to find one unique fact about her a short and snappy opener based on that. Even a pun based on her name is better than what most blokes can be bothered to come up with.
If this does work, ask for her phone number as soon as she’s shown some investment. Once you’re out of the shark pit, you’ve got a fighting chance of meeting up for a date.
It’s far from a foolproof plan though, which is why it’s recommended not to make dating websites your only source of women, lest you end up throwing your laptop out the window in frustration.
I considered leaving this section out of the article for fear of patronising you, the reader.
You’d think that most mature gentlemen would be smart enough to avoid the mistakes that get featured on dating nightmare listicles.
Yet, the majority of the profiles I see on these lists are those of older dudes.
So, for the benefit of the few, please don’t:
There’s a larger round-up of online dating mistakes here.
Avoid the errors listed there, while taking note of the tips above, and you’ll have eligible ladies flooding your laptop in no time.
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>