How to flirt with a younger woman
The ways of young women are at once strange and familiar to a mature man: strange owing to the quiet revolution that has occurred over the last 30 years in female behavior; familiar because of what you may remember of the girls who populated your own youth.
If you are a single man over forty, you no doubt get a great deal of attention from twentysomething women. The difficulty lies in responding to the stares, smiles, and genuflections in a manner that will be to your advantage.
The contradictory feelings described above pull you in two different directions. Should you get hip and flirt with the young women who come your way as if you were their age? Or should you reach back to your own nonage and deploy some of the lines and moves that got you chicks back in the day?
Do neither. Remember the prime directive in winning a woman’s affections: be yourself. Women respond to authenticity, and can immediately sense a fake. You will look ridiculous trying to imitate the words and behaviors of a man half your age. And it is unlikely that you become the person you were twenty years ago.
No, to be a successful flirt you must embrace your age and maturity. It has its advantages. Here is how to best deploy your attributes.
As you’ve aged, your rough ages have been smoothed down a bit. Either through marriage or a succession of relationships, you’ve had to learn how to accommodate the needs of a woman who lives in intimate contact with you. Even your experience of dealing with your women colleagues has tamed your passions and made you more courteous and respectful.
You have become a gentleman through force of time and habit. You should turn your acquired charm up a few notches when flirting with a young woman who has caught your eye. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, bringing drinks, offering jackets, ensuring fully charged wine glasses—these are just a few of the courtly moves to be made as part of your flirtation.
If you have ever overheard a conversation between a Millennial couple, you probably felt that it was complete gibberish—that is, if they put down their phones long enough to have a conversation. In truth, Millennials are no different from any generation of young people. You have probably forgotten what it was life to be that age, but you similarly had little of interest to say. How could you? You had not done anything. You had seen very little of the world and had little time to cultivate your tastes.
As an older man, you have an advantage over your younger rivals. All they can do is tell the same old stories about their family and immediate circle of friends. You, on the other hand, can talk about seeing the collection of Rembrandt paintings in Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum or what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel or how the white sand beaches of Australia’s Gold Coast feel beneath your feet.
You do not have to overwhelm the girl with name-dropping, but finding ways to show you are a well-traveled man of culture, interests, and taste will make you even more appealing.
Every man knows that laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac for women. If you can get her to laugh, you’ve already got her half-way to the sack. But you can deploy a kind of humor that differs from young men. Your wit is your secret weapon. Wit differs from mere joking or buffoonery in being more ironic and intelligent.
She is probably used to and unimpressed by guys who tell lame jokes they think are funny. Wit does not require you to tell stories; it consists of being playful and imaginative with words and everyday situations, and of pointing out the humorous and absurd in things that are right before your eyes.
Being witty is the ultimate form of flirtation. You will make her life more vivid and entertaining, and she will dig you even more because of it.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.