7 Ways to Keep Girls Interested When You’re an Introvert
When you’re an introvert, there’s nothing easy about dating. From meeting in crowded places to personal conversations, dating can be pretty tough, and that’s when you’re on a date.
Leading up to getting a date can be even harder, with having to talk in large groups, go out to parties or social gatherings and generally do all the things that are usually outside the comfort zone of an introvert.
As an introvert, it can feel impossible to compete with other guys for the attention of girls and sometimes, you give up altogether. So the big question is, how do you keep girls interested in you when you’re an introvert?
To help you get the girl that you want, and to find ways you can keep them interested in you when you’re an introvert, we’ve put together this list.
At the end of it, you’ll be armed with all the information you need to be able to keep girls interested in you, even if you’re an introvert.
To help you master the art of dating, first, you have to speak to girls, something that challenges many introverts. Here are seven ways you can begin to master dating as an introvert.
As an introvert, you’ll often face a lot of pressure to be more like the other kinds of people, extroverts. Dubbed the ‘Extrovert Ideal’ it’s hard to overlook that you don’t possess the same qualities as extroverts.
Sometimes, you’ll see people who are opposed to the way you are, getting a lot of dates. This leads you to assume you must be an extrovert to get dates, period.
The good news is, it’s not true. As an introvert you can get dates, you just need to aim to be your best self authentically.
Understanding that you don’t need to act or be like anybody else is the first step. One of the big realizations is you don’t need to act like anybody else. To do so would be inauthentic, which is a turn-off.
Understand this, and your first step should be to be your best you and be yourself.
The first step to a date is a conversation. If you can master the art of asking questions, you’ll be taking the first steps to open up your own potential for dating.
How do you do it? Ask her about what she’s interested in. Not only does this help by getting her to do most of the speaking, but she’ll also perceive this as you being interested in her and being a good listener.
Make sure to actually listen and follow up with other questions diving deeper into her interests. This type of conversation will demonstrate to her that you’re interested in her values, attitudes, beliefs, and experiences.
All powerful things on the quest to a date.
If a girl is interested in you, then you would imagine she’d want to know more about you too. Just the same as the second step above, just like how we looked for things that she’d enjoy telling you about herself, she’ll no doubt be looking to talk to you about the things that get you excited.
If she’s asking you open-ended questions, that’s a good indication that she wants to learn more about you. At this stage, you can talk about some of the things that make you interesting.
Think about your life, and think about what’s exciting. Do you have an exciting job? Have you been away on holiday to an exotic location? Do you have an interest in ancient ruins? Did you read something interesting last week?
All of these topics can be used as conversation starters that show her something interesting about yourself.
Your aim should be to find a topic that both of you are passionate or interested in, and then expand from there. When she’s asking these questions though, make sure she is actually interested and isn’t just being polite.
As an introvert, it can be hard to cope in places with large groups; it can be worse if you have no idea where you are going. Remember, it’s fine not to like those things!
Don’t force yourself into a situation that’s going to make you uncomfortable. If noise in a bar makes you anxious, it doesn’t matter how many girls there are there to attract; you’ll look like a scared child, and have no chance.
If that’s not your kind of scene, don’t go there to meet women. It won’t work as you won’t be confident, relaxed or open to meeting new women or people.
If you’re more into quiet places, that’s ok. You can meet a girl in a library, a coffee shop or at the gym. All it takes is a smile, some eye contact and some conversation to get the ball rolling.
If you’re trying to keep girls interested in you and you’re an introvert, one of the best solutions is to speak to girls who are interested in the same things as you. This can all start with a hobby.
If you’re meeting girls in a hobby that’s social, you’ll both have something to talk about and shouldn’t have any issues with awkwardness or talking, as you’re both there for the same thing.
If you love video games, go to a convention. If you like drawing, take a class where there’s a large group of people doing it together.
Whatever your passion, try to find a social situation to find other people interested in the same passion as you. It’s a whole lot easier to keep a girl interested in you if you have the same hobbies or passions.
One of the hardest things as an introvert is speaking and conversation. When you are lining yourself up for a date, the anxiety about just talking can set you back and make you feel less confident and overwhelmed.
A great way to tackle this problem is to practice talking to strangers, but without any expectation. Ask somebody the time, ask where the local bakery is, ask a stranger in the street if they can recommend somewhere to eat.
You should start by speaking to men if women make you feel uneasy, and just get into the practice of conversation. Handling this will make speaking to girls a lot easier, leaving you less overwhelmed and at least a little more confident.
If you’ve ever heard that saying about barking dogs not biting, you might be on the right track with this last section. You should never let yourself believe that people who speak too much have more to say.
People who are especially chatty are usually not the most interesting people in the world. You’ll no doubt have just too much to say as they do, even if it’s in a quieter voice.
Make sure not to doubt yourself and make your voice heard.
It’s sometimes hard to figure out how to keep girls interested when you’re an introvert. Whatever method you choose to get better results when dating, you should consider using at least a few of these tips above.
If you want more advice on how to overcome dating problems check out our other articles, 7 reasons you suck at dating and 5 tricks to gain more confidence before the next date.
About Jamie Atkinson Jamie Atkinson is a freelance writer and sales coach who has over 10 years of experience coaching, selling and training in the field. He was born in the UK but now travels all over the world, teaching other aspiring entrepreneurs how to achieve their own success by sharing the benefits of having a lifestyle business. You can find out more from Jamie over at www.letsgetjobless.com