What To Do When She’s Not Showing Interest
When a woman doesn’t show clear signs she wants to be fucked, most guys crumble.
The average man assumes he’s not good enough, makes no moves and generally turns into a timid little bitch.
It happens whether he’s getting the cold shoulder over text, within his social circle, at the bar or on a date.
The result will be the same every time. Failure.
This is worth repeating. You will fail to get the girl EVERY SINGLE TIME when you assume she doesn’t like you.
To turn things around, you must first realise there are many reasons why a woman will act distant, even when she likes you.
Below are some of the main explanations why women behave this way, and why it’s ALWAYS in your best interests to assume she wants you.
Unless she explicitly tells you says she’s not interested, it’s better to assume you’re in one of these scenarios.
The typical woman wants to date a confident alpha-male. Sadly, she can’t measure your self-assuredness by asking you about it.
Most men can put on a front for a few hours, especially when she’s flirting outrageously. This is why many women will act bratty when they first meet you. It’s their way of filtering out the pathetic beta-males.
This filter can be brutal. Be prepared for her to point out your biggest weaknesses, show no signs of attraction and generally behave like a complete bitch.
Alternatively, she gives you the silent treatment. This is a less savage test. Perhaps she ignores your texts, gives one-word answers on dates or turns her nose up at your jokes.
It’s often to see how you react. Is your faux-confidence destroyed or do you remain unfazed? The answer will show her your true personality.
You can learn all you need to know about passing these ‘shit tests’ with our expert guide.
Not all women are masters of social dynamics. Many become flustered in social situations. It’s common for them to become shy around men they want to impress.
Ever noticed how you run out of things to say when suffering from approach anxiety? The same thing happens to women when you approach them.
Maybe she’s not been on many dates. Perhaps public displays of affection are frowned upon in her culture.
As the man, it’s your job to carry the conversation and make her comfortable enough to open up to you, even if she’s giving you little to work with.
Society is constantly telling women that promiscuity is terrible. There’s little that’s scarier to a woman than being labelled a ‘slut’.
This is a MASSIVE reason why she makes it difficult for you to flirt with her in public.
Perhaps she’s with her friends in a bar. Maybe she’s worried about being spotted by work colleagues. She could even be a low-level celebrity who’s concerned about the paparazzi…
Either way, she doesn’t want to be caught making it too easy for some guy she’s just met. Even if she’s alone, she needs to be able to tell herself that it ‘just happened’, no matter how horny she is for you.
An expert seducer understands this, keeps his cool in public and creates these ‘just happened’ situations once they’re alone together at his house.
These three alternative situations are extremely common. In fact, there’s probably always at least one of them occurring when you’re flirting with a woman.
Yet, the average dude still assumes that she’s being distant because she doesn’t like his appearance…
Let’s repeat this point one last time. A woman will NEVER throw herself at this guy while one of these situations are in play.
It’s up to him to understand the situation, maintain his confidence and show her that he’s a man she can trust.
If you can remain confident when she’s giving you so much shit, this will serve to make you so appear far more attractive. As such, you should be happy when she’s acting this way. It gives you the opportunity to stand out in a situation where so many men would fail.
The key is knowing how to escalate like a gentleman. Start small, perhaps by holding hands or with playful touches on the arm. As time goes on, try something a bit more sexual. Continue these baby-steps throughout your encounter. If she allows it, keep moving forward. If not, laugh it off, change the subject and try something else a bit later. This makes it far less awkward to go for the kiss (or something more) on the first date.
Sometimes this won’t work at all, and that’s just fine. The only indicator of interest you need to look for is that she’s still with you. A great test for whether she actually likes you (at the bar or on a date) is to try and move locations. It could be as small as a different area of the bar, or as big as grabbing some drinks at your place. Either way, if she complies, that’s a great sign she’s actually enjoying talking to you.
Just as you baby-step the flirty touches, do the same with the journey to your bedroom. A typical date could start at a cafe, move to a bar near your house, continue to your living room before you ‘show her something cool’ in your bedroom. Before you know it, sex ‘just happened’ and no-one has to feel like a slut.
You can play it as cool as possible, maintain your self-confidence throughout the interaction, and there will still be some girls that aren’t into it.
That’s absolutely fine. You’re not supposed to get every girl. Some are so attached to their physical ‘type’ that they won’t allow themselves to be attracted to anyone else. Yet, if you can show them a super-fun time, it is possible to turn these women around too.
Either way, what’s the biggest downside of trying to escalate with a girl who actually doesn’t like you? You mildly annoy a woman who never would have slept with you, and maybe force her to verbalise the fact she’s not into it.
On the other hand, what’s the biggest upside of not making a move with her, or any woman who might otherwise have liked you? Maybe you’ll get to stay friends…In fact, ‘playing it safe’ on a date is the best way to get in the friendzone.
Women want sex with a confident guy, provided it doesn’t ruin their reputation.
You can be that guy, or the ‘gentleman’ who doesn’t make a move unless she gives him all the signs.
The choice is yours…
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>