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How To Be Cool

how to be cool

Most people misunderstand what makes someone cool

Are you worried you’re not cool enough to get the type of girlfriend you want? Do you not bother approaching beautiful women because you don’t fit the stereotype of an attractive man? Are you convinced that being cool means talking, acting and presenting yourself in a specific way?

If so, it’s unlikely you’re living life at your full potential.

You could skyrocket your confidence and upgrade your dating life by developing a clearer understanding of what ‘cool’ actually is.

Below, we reveal the secret quality that all cool people have, as well as some simple tips to help you transform into a cool guy.

How to be cool

The secret sauce that’ll make you a cool person is: being comfortable in your own skin.

When people have this quality, they exude the charisma that makes other people want to be around them.

This lack of insecurities projects an energy that other people want to be a part of.

Once you learn this for yourself, your pick-up skills will receive a huge shot in the arm.

Mystery – the perfect example of a surprisingly cool guy

Mystery is widely known as one of the founders of the pick-up community.

He used to pick-up women by performing magic in a fishnet vest and a weird trilby hat. He was peacocking and most women thought he was incredibly cool.

It wasn’t the magic, vest and hat that made him cool! It was the fact that Mystery owned this image. He was comfortable in his own skin.

Notice how peacocking became uncool shortly after ‘The Game’ came out, Mystery’s methods became mainstream and people that weren’t comfortable wearing outlandish clothes started doing it. These guys missed the point. They were not cool. In fact, they were mocked profusely.  

The point is to create your own unique style and personality, and OWN IT.

How to be cool if you lack confidence or hate yourself

First off, be aware that it’s your decision to hate yourself. You could become a cool guy just by changing this decision.

Maybe you have physical flaws that most of society don’t think is cool. So what?

There are tons of people out there who embrace being fat, short or funny-looking. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and become one of them.

A-list celebrities and rich handsome men may find it easier to be cool because society constantly tells them they are. This doesn’t affect your ability to OWN the cards dealt to you.

Even if you’ve been dealt some cards that are undeniably bad, there’s no reason to focus on these. Why not focus on the things you love about yourself instead? It’s possible to be cool despite your flaws. In doing so, your flaws become cool.

  • Eminem dominated the world of hip-hop despite being white. Therefore his whiteness helps to make him cool.
  • Sylvester Stallone became an action hero despite his disfigured face. That’s part of what makes him cool.
  • Nick Santanastasso is a famous fitness model despite missing an arm and both legs. His lack of limbs helps to make him cool.

The main reason you hate your flaws is because other people have suggested they’re not cool. Your job is to be mentally strong enough to love yourself anyway.

Playing it safe vs playing it cool

There’s nothing cool about playing it safe.

It sucks when someone asks what music you like, and you say ‘a bit of everything.’

If you say: ‘I love *INSERT BAND NAME HERE*. I saw them 15 times. I have this tattoo of their lyrics’ that’s cool.  

Because you’re owning it. Even if it’s Nickelback.

Being the same as everyone else isn’t cool. Stop hiding what makes you different. OWN IT.

How to be a cool dancer

Perhaps you don’t like approaching women on the dancefloor because you’re not a cool dancer.  

Well, let’s evaluate what a cool dancer is…

Lad A is an experienced break-dancer. He’s busting out his best moves, but it’s clear he’s hoping other people notice him and give him attention.

Lad B never took a dance lesson in his life. He’s extremely uncoordinated. He’s doing the salmon dance, shaking his body like a salmon swimming up stream. He think it’s absolutely hilarious and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

Lad A may be a ‘good dancer’ but Lad B is a ‘cool dancer’. Women will be more drawn to the latter.  

Prepare for shit tests

When you’re a cool guy, you’ll get a lot of shit tests from women.

In these situations, they’re essentially checking to see if you’re a cool person.

When she says, ‘your clothes are stupid’, she’s really checking if you’re OWNING your image.

When she says ‘I don’t date short guys’, she’s really checking whether you’re comfortable with your flaws.

By passing the shit test, you’re giving her a resounding YES.

How to be cool: some quick tips

  • Pick 3-5 things that set you apart from others. Start constructing your image based on these, both offline and on social media.
  • Learn how to talk passionately about the things you love.
  • In fact, be passionate in everything you do. Confident body language and strong vocal projection is the easiest way to communicate that you’re cool.
  • Be more daring with your fashion. It doesn’t have to be as outrageous as a fishnet vest, but wear something that makes you stand out from the crowd.
  • Stop being ashamed of your flaws. Own them. Flaws are actually what make people likeable. Every good protagonist in film or TV has a flaw.
  • Create a list of things that are cool about you. Aim to add at least 50 bullets.
  • Become more social. There are no advantages to being cool if you’re not meeting people and creating connections. My free e-book How To Conquer Social Anxiety has loads of tips on how to do become better at doing this.    

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin is a lifestyle writer and confidence coach currently living as a digital nomad across Europe and Asia. You can download his FREE e-book 'How To Conquer Social Anxiety' at https://bit.ly/2MBxm4N

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