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How to be Confident and Comfortable Talking to Women

The Secret to Eliminating Your Anxiety With Girls

I?m sure we?ve all felt at least some kind of anxiety around a pretty girl before?

Women can be intimidating?

?Some of them are intimidating because they?re beautiful?

?Some are intimidating because they?re aggressive or outspoken?

?or successful?or whatever.

There are a million reasons why talking to women can make us feel anxiety and pressure.

So, what if there was a way that we could just have enough swagger, confidence, and charisma that we could approach any girl and have a conversation WITHOUT FEELING NERVOUS???

?Here?s the bad news?

?There is no magic wand or secret pill you can take to give you super swag powers?



?Drum roll..




??Why Do We Get Anxiety Around Women??

There is more to it than just a woman being intelligent, successful, attractive, outspoken and bold.

The fact is that there are only two types of women in this world who can make a man nervous?



So, which one is it??

?If we have a boss at work, chances are that person will make us nervous sometimes.

This goes for men and women and this isn?t the one I want to focus on today?

If we see a woman we?re attracted to, it suddenly becomes exponentially more complicated.

What the fuck is up with that??

I had a client I was working with recently and I hooked him up with this really pretty girl who is a friend of mine.

They are both getting ready attend law school so I told her I would give him her number and he would reach out.

After he saw the pictures of her?and saw how gorgeous she was?he started getting nervous and didn?t know what to say?


I told him that she was super religious and was saving herself for marriage and only wanted to marry a man of her same faith?Which he was not?

?I told him just to talk to her about law school?

?A few minutes go by and he texts me saying, ?THIS IS REALLY EASY?


No shit bro!

As soon as you remove the thought from your mind that you?ve got to try to attract her?THE PRESSURE DISAPPEARS!

Next thing I know he tells me that they?re going on a date this weekend to see a comedy show!




Now I didn?t lie to my boy?

?I?ve known this girl for many years, and she is in fact religious?

?She also said that she wants to marry a man who shares her faith?

?She also spied on his Instagram and told me she thought he was a beautiful specimen of a man?

I wanted my man to get in the game so he could GET A WIN but if he didn?t break down that invisible mental barrier then he would?ve STRUCK OUT.


Here?s What You Gotta Do.

This tactic works really well for day game?

?It works well at a bar or club as well?

The key to eliminating your fear and anxiety is GET YOUR HEAD RIGHT?

We can be texting her, cold approach, whatever?it don?t matter.

Before we start talking to her we need to change the story we tell ourselves?

?So instead of telling ourselves how hot she is and focusing on saying the right things to make her attracted to us?

?We should tell ourselves whatever we need to in order to flip that pressure out the window?

?Make up a story to tell yourself that would completely eliminate any chance of you sleeping with her?

?This way, we won?t be feeling pressure to say the right things and all that shit.

?We can be more natural and comfortable.


Now that the pressure is off, we just keep talking to her like we would if there was no chance of her sleeping with us?

?What that means is we can ask her out this weekend to go to something fun like a comedy show or something and don?t feel any pressure about if it?s a good date location or anything like that?


Many of us overthink dates and end up doing way more than we should and devaluing ourselves.

While we?re talking to her and shit like we have no chance?what?s the harm in shooting a shot.

?We?ve already convinced ourselves that we have no chance so we?ve got nothing to lose.

This makes it much easier to flirt because we are completely detached from the outcome and just focused on having fun with it.


Pro Tips.

  • My client who locked in that date for the weekend actually won 10 free tickets to this comedy show. Since he was just being friendly with this girl, I figured how he could take it into overdrive.? He had other girls that he knew and just offered all of them the chance to join ?him and his friends? this weekend at the comedy show.? Some of the girls asked if they could bring a friend and it was a party.? What they didn?t know was that ALL of his ?friends? were women, so he ended up going to a comedy show with 9 other girls and he was the only guy.? What this did was added so much value and validation for the women that he didn?t.? he played it cool all night and ended up having two of the friends of the girls he invited ask for his phone number.


  • Treating women like you don?t think they?re attractive can inadvertently make them dislike you. Nobody wants to feel ugly so if you treat her like you don?t even find her remotely attractive, she will either try harder to impress you or spite you for it.? While we?re acting like we don?t have a chance, it?s important to do light harmless flirting such as acknowledging that she is pretty or making a joke lightly poking fun of her and then saying you?re joking and following it with a complement.


Keep cookin fellas,


Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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About Van Bender Van Bender is a writer and coach specializing in becoming the alpha, the art of attraction and hacking the friendzone. Check out my website and subscribe for exclusive content

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