Getting Your Girl Attracted to your Goals

I really enjoy these newsletters from Sebastian over at Master the Vibe. He seems to have a good idea of how to mix your social, professional, and PUA life together. I’ve found that when a girl is supportive of your life goals, the relationship is so much more rewarding.

Make her your cheerleader by Sebastian Drake


To get a girl attracted to your goals takes the same thing it takes
to attract anyone to anything…

You guessed it:


Value: Obviously, a goal will have value to you if you’re doing it. She
should be on the same page with that value… so it’s easier to get
the average girl to support you in, say, becoming a healthier eater
than it is to help you score some drugs. For most women, her man
achieving his goals is value in and of itself, so winning a
tournament, or doing a good job at work – while not direct value
for her – become valuable.

Attainability: She should see that once you improve in value, her
life is enriched by it as opposed to having you taken away. So your
girl might work against you getting into an international school if
it means you’ll never see each other again. In practical terms,
this means she should be able to see herself sharing in the value
you build. Qualify her on it – especially if it’s something that
creates an obvious jump in status, like a better physique, or say,
becoming a doctor. Girls are naturally afraid guys will dump them
and “trade up” when they can – alleviate those fears.

Compliance: The more work or effort she puts in to aiding you in
your goal, the more she becomes attracted to the goal. So if you
ask your girl, “Can you pick up a few cans of a tuna on the way
over to my place?” and she does, then you thank her with, “Thanks
for getting that for me, tuna is really great after I work out.
You’re the best.” This’ll actually make her more attracted to your
goal of getting fit with her help, even though she didn’t know she
was on board with it at first. Similarly, when she does know, the
more she does, the better. Textbook compliance.


A girl helping you reach a goal is +V+A+C… it makes the girl more
attracted to you. You’re more valuable after achieving your goal,
she understands that you’re compatible because you worked together
to accomplish something, and her working towards your goal is
working towards impressing and pleasing you.

But what if you don’t need her help at all? Many times, a resolute
man makes changes in his life without consulting the many women in
his life. It’s potentially a mistake –

By increasing your value on your own, you get the +V. But it can
actually hurt attainability – she’ll wonder, “Can a girl like me
get a guy like him?” When she actually feels she MADE you into what
you are, she’s more likely to understand that you two are
compatible and she can have you. Also, the compliance is obviously
not there.

Hell, even look at the value – Recruiting other good people in your
life to work on common goals and being open about what you want to
achieve is MORE valuable than stubborn “I do it myself” stuff.
Sure, the rugged independance is valuable, but being a strong
leader and sharing with people is even more so.

So, here’s what you do –

Whenever you’re embarking on a new endeavor, you can use it as an
opportunity to make your girlfriend(s) more attracted. Before you
start, call them up, and say, “Sweetie, I’m making a real push to
get more healthy and lift weights. Can I count on you for some
moral support, make sure I don’t eat poorly around you and you only
cook healthy stuff, and get a backrub when I’m sore?”

Normally, you’d then actually have your girl help you, and qualify
her on helping you. So you’d have her cook salmon on brown rice,
and then qualify her, “Baby, thanks so much for cooking for me.
You’re a real sweetheart.” Once you achieve your goal, you qualify
her that she “made you” on it –

“Thank you sweetie, I feel so good now. I wouldn’t have been able
to do without you.”

But if you don’t actually need her help, and still want the +V+A+C?

“Sweetie, I’m going to get my hair cut tomorrow. Got any

Her: “Yes, well…………………………..”
You: “Uh-huh, okay, go on.”
Her: “And….. and so…. and then….”
You: “Oh wow, that’s really great. Thanks.”

After the haircut, text all the girls you asked:

“Thanks for the advice sweetie. I didn’t do exactly what you
suggested, but it did change up what I was going to get and it
looks great! Thanks! Kisses”

So, formula for getting girls helping you:

*Tell her you want her help, and qualify her.
*Qualify her as she puts in work and helps you.
*Qualify her after you achieve or see progress in your goal.

Formula for letting her feel like she’s helping you, even if she
isn’t, to make her more attracted to you:

*Tell her you want her help, and qualify her.
*Qualify her occasionally on helping you if it’s a long term goal.
*Qualify her after you achieve or see progress in your goal.

It works either way. Get her involved, and she’ll love you all the
more. Added bonus – the more people you tell about your goals, the
more likely you are to follow through with them. Keep playin’…


read my review of Master the Vibe

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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