Infiltrating the Popular Circle in High School (L4)

This is the 4th lesson in my “How to be Popular in High School” program. I highly suggest reading the introduction, and starting this program from the beginning if you haven’t already done so. I also want to emphasize that you should be applying these lessons immediately. Don’t sit around and think about all the reasons it won’t work for you. Just trust me and do it!

Lesson 4- “Never Try to Sell Yourself. Get Others to do it For You

All of these lessons are geared at one goal: Making you more popular in high school. Some of you may be far from removed from the popular crowd, others of you may inches away, and some of you may already be in it, and simply just want to secure and elevate your status. That being said, the lessons in the program are designed for everyone. If a particular lesson does not apply to you… just skip it and wait for the next lesson.

Todays lesson is for those of you who want to get their foot in the door of the popular crowd. Although everyone has the dream of being the outcast that rises in popularity on his own terms…. that only happens in movies. In real life you have to befriend the popular kids if you want to become popular yourself.

Of course befriending the popular kids is not going to be an easy option for all of you. It may even seem impossible for those of you far removed from the crowd. But if you follow the steps in this program it will happen. In the previous lesson’s homework I told you to find someone slightly above you in the social hierarchy and befriend them. In this lesson I’m going to go into further detail about how to go about it.

Find Pawns

Like I said in the previous lesson; no one is anxious to let some one new into the club. The more exclusive the club, the more important the members get to feel. So if you barge into the club pronouncing yourself “one of them” you’ll quickly be rejected.

In order to get entrance into the club you have to find members who will vouch for you to the other members. You need people who will sell you to the other members. You need people to say “He’s alright.” or “He’s pretty cool.” And you need them to say it with conviction.

You need pawns. Pawns are the students who will help you get what you want. Before you can seduce the whole club you must seduce of few key members.

Lesson 2 was extremely important. If you haven’t read lesson 2 go back and read it now. In lesson 2 I explained that you must be up on all the trends. You must be a trend setter. I gave you plenty of ways to keep up with them, and gave you a plan for building your personal image. Now, its time to make use of it all. You have to let people know that you’re “in on it.” And like I said, if you go around and announce it to everyone, you’ll get laughed at. Instead, let a few pawns discover it on their own.

My suggestion is find at least two popular guys and two popular girls and make them your pawns. Will it be easy? No. Can it be done? Definitely! But it is up to you to make it happen.

In selecting your pawns you should look for a few key points:

  • You must be around them often. It is particularly helpful if you have a class with them in which most of their other friends aren’t around.
  • They must be well respected. I know you want to go the easy route and pick someone who is nice to everyone, but winning them over doesn’t help you much. You need to win over the guy who the most judgmental. It needs to be a person whose spot is secure in their own popularity. Someone of lesser status will be less likely to go out on a limb for you in fear of jeopardizing their own spot in he club.
  • They need to be slightly vulnerable. Everyone has a weakness. You need to find theirs and exploit it. If they are someone who puts up to hard of a shell, you might not be able to crack it.
  • The girls you choose should be extremely popular… but not the best looking. Every social clique has the popular girls who aren’t extremely attractive. These are the girls you want to seduce. You want to use everything you’ve learned about women from this site and seduce these girls. Except you are to never close the deal.

Your goal is to get the guys to respect you, and to get the girls to fall slightly in love with you. The girls will be the easier of the two to convert. Remember the girls you choose are vulnerable. Just because these girls are popular does not mean that they don’t have self esteem issues. Its high school, everyone has self esteem issues. These girls are probably in love with one of the popular guys who isn’t interested in them romantically. If you’re going after the less attractive (even chubby) popular girls you must make sure that they are the judgmental type. I’m not talking about the nice fat girl that no one has the heart to kick out of the club… I’m talking about the chubby girl who has the best house parties… who has an older brother who is Homecoming King… The girl must be the real deal.

There is more than enough information on this site to teach you how to seduce these girls, so I’m not going to go into it here. If you’re new to The Seduction Bible I suggest starting with the How To Attract Category and Alpha Male. You should concentrate on seducing them, but at the same time befriending them. You don’t want to ever hook up with these girls. You want these girls to be selling you to the other girls and guys. It is important that although you are seducing them you keep it on a friend level at all times. If you give them a strong indication that you like them as more than a friend, they may turn bitter later on when you’re hooking up with all of their hot friends. I know its a fine line… but think of all the girls who have seduced you but kept you in “the friend zone.” Its your chance to do it to a girl.

The guys will be a little more difficult but can be done. First off, if you’ve followed my advice about being up on trends than these guys will naturally notice this. This wins you instant points. Don’t make a point to showboat your new style and trendiness to them. Let them notice. And when they notice… shrug it off like you don’t even realize you’ve changed. In order for them to befriend you; you need to be valuable to them. If you are a head of the trends than they will have something to gain by being friends with you.

But you need more than that. You need to take it to a more personal level. If you want them to vouch for you to everyone else then you need them to genuinely like you as a person. Below are some tips for getting them to like you. These tips work for both the guys and girls you are trying to befriend:

  • Humor. Develop a sense of humor. At the very least, know what is considered funny so that you can laugh and contribute when the conversation calls for it. If you’re not a funny person, don’t try too hard or you’ll do more damage than good. Until you develop the right kind of sense of humor just pay attention to what others think is funny so that you can be a good audience for those who are funny.
  • Make them feel like they’re funny. Everyone wants to be a comedian. Everyone loves a receptive audience. You want to make them feel like they are the funniest guy on earth. People love to be around people who find them funny. But don’t overdue it. It has to be sincere. Get to know their sense of humor and make it your own. Take the time to think how they think. To see things as they see them. This will allow you to get inside their mind and share their sense of humor.
  • Give them a feeling of importance. Everyone has a grand ideal of who they are. A vision of the person they strive to be. You need to figure out what that vision is they have of themselves and begin to appreciate them as that person. Let them know you see them that way. Be sincere about this. If they think you’re humoring them or being condescending the party is over.
  • Become genuinely interested in them. I keep emphasizing that you need to be sincere. If you’re not sincerely interested in them it will be seen as phony and kiss ass. You should ask them a lot of questions about the things you know interest them. And be interested in their answers.
  • Arouse their desires. The fact is that these people are not anxious to do anything for you. So what you need to do is arouse a desire in them, and help them achieve it. Whether their desire is to have a relationship with a certain classmate, start a band, DJ in a club… whatever their desire is -cultivate it and help them achieve it.
  • Be a good listener. It is so hard to find a good listener that if you can master the art, you’ll be a very liked person. Encourage them to keep talking about themselves.

Those were some good tips for befriending them. If you want to read a great book check out How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. His book works, but you have to tweak it for high school, as a lot of different rules apply.


  1. Search out the perfect pawns. Four would be ideal. But at the very least find one guy and one girl that you can begin working on immediately.
  2. Once you’ve settled on your pawns begin taking notes. Capture details about their personality, interests, things that piss them off, things that annoy them, people they like and don’t like. Keep a sort of journal about them. NEVER NAME NAMES AND DON’T LET ANYONE EVER FIND THIS.
  3. Begin befriending them in the ways that I outlined above. Don’t try to hard at first. Let it happen naturally over a period of time. If you go in to fast they may get defensive and put their guard up. Treat them like a girl you’re courting. Two steps forward, one step back. You don’t want them getting sick of you.

In the upcoming lessons I will go into more details about how to blend in with the popular kids.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.